I used to feel jealous of her when my mom carried her in her arms, I used to throw tantrums and create a scene if my dad spent more time with her than me...I used to shy away from my parents and spend more time with my grandparents as I just used to desist her presence, we used fight all the time - I have pushed her from the stairs and she would go rolling down, only to be back crying aloud and my mom giving me a good spanking ...lol!
Till the time, life took a turn and I realized the responsibility I had as a elder sister...mom fell ill and stayed that way for long...very very long, and I stepped in take care of my sister. From taking care of her in school, to bringing her back home, to help her finish homework, to feed her lunch & dinner, to help her at every step - be it a fancy dress competition or a painting competition or anything under this sky... I had a say in it. She would come running to me for every small thing...
Things do not remain the same, you see...One fine day, I realize during a casual conversation with my sister how much things have changed - Yes, she has grown up, she can take care of herself, make her own decisions, wants to be left to herself in whatever she does...she has become an independent individual, which all of us do at some point in time in life. I need to understand this, take this in my stride and let her fly...be there only to help if she falls...but this goddamn heart does not understand this...it just refuses to accept the fact! I feel bad if she does not tell me even a small thing that happened, either something she bought or some place she went...They say its important for parents to be a friend to their kids when they grow up, I agree, but I can see how difficult it must be...if I, as a sister am finding it so difficult.
I know its gonna be a journey, a tough one, till I realize that all of us need that space to do our own things...The journey has just begun...
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Importance of Building Self-trustworthiness...
This is a topic that I have wanted to write about for quite sometime now...the importance of this fact struck me very hard when I heard to a guest lecture at my college by Alok Sharma - India Head, Apple Computers
This guy, with his simple but absolutely dignified demeanor left me convinced about a thought that I have always believed it - the importance of having a clean conscience and building respect for oneself in one's own eyes. How does one build trustworthiness - with oneself and others? I believe, it is by defining one’s values, principles and rules in life and living by it, come what may. Honoring a promise made to oneself. A person who can do this will automatically build trust about himself/herself with people around.
Mr. Sharma spoke about the emphasis he lays on the importance of living by his beliefs and values in life - that of righteousness. He quoted an example where he put his job at stake to avoid paying bribe in a business deal - this incident irked questions from the audience about how one can survive in this bad world if we were to follow such rules or stick to such principles. In response to this, he quoted an incident where he happened to meet Azim Premji who gave a simple answer to this so called difficult question - Azimji's answer -"One does not get profitable by paying bribes to middlemen, in fact the returns get reduced - because, once a set-up is created using middlemen to get work done, the expectation increases at each level,and at the end, though the number of projects got is more, the returns definitely get diminished, as so many people need to be satisfied in between" - So true, but this is beyond understanding of 99 percent of the people.
But one thing is certain- I believe, the moment you make your principles clear to people and set their expectations right, how much ever they might bad mouth you in front of you as well as behind your back - they will dare not try any tricks with you. All the blabbering they do in front of you about how foolish you are to follow Gandhism - if I can say so- they do it only because they do not have the guts to be like you or follow the path of righteousness. Of course, there are many people who respect such values and principles in life - otherwise, there would not be a Infy or a Wipro or a MindTree Consulting...am sure there are many more, which do not come to my mind now...
Once we have all this defined, building a personal & organizational value system becomes easier - even if we cannot change much of organizational values, we can surely change the organization -but for that we need to define and prioritize our values in life.
Among many things that he spoke about, something that I remember very well is the leadership attributes one should develop - Beliefs,Values,Character,and Knowledge. To quote him -" As a good manager, hire people who can perform at least one function better that you can do"- In this world of insecurity, managers could probably take a cue from these lines.
Last but not the least, he spoke about how simple day-to-day things in our life can help us build self trustworthiness - something which I regularly follow - I could relate to it so much...I'm sure most of us can relate to it...take for example -practicing a fitness regime - it is so common for all of us to plan with great passion to run 5 km or go to gym for 30 mins daily or cut down on all our favorite food - only to end up doing 1/10th or none of what we planned and feeling terribly depressed about not being able to follow what we set out to do.
Believe me, these small promises made to oneself and not being able to fulfill them can bring one's morale down to a large extent. At least to me, fulfilling any commitment made by me to myself or to anyone is of utmost importance, else something inside my heart troubles me endlessly. Alok gave a simple suggestion of how it is better to set small goals and fulfill them, instead of making big plans only to see them fail. Taking the same fitness example - set short-term goals, probably going to gym 2 -3 times in a week or running 2 km daily or 3 days a week or whatever is comfortable for one -but, keep up the promise made and achieve those goals. This is what builds self-trustworthiness.
This thing about building self-trustworthiness is so satisfying, especially the act of following a short but regular fitness regime is so fulfilling to me...that I came back from my jog today and immediately decide to write this blog.
The run...the sweat...the satisfaction of doing what I promised myself...the pride of bettering myself everyday...its an amazing feeling!
There are so many instances which we can use to practice this and enrich our lives – be it at work (setting short internal deadlines for activities at work) or at home (following a well planned regime for day-to-day chores, cooking, cleaning etc…) or with our social life(control over spending or over indulging)…once we start doing it for one or two activities, automatically we search for fulfillment and meaning in everything that we do…I’m trying, failing at times, learning, nevertheless -getting back on my feet and trying harder…I want it to be a continuing journey, though it is tough and slow...it is better than quickly achieving something and losing it much before we realize what we achieved.
This guy, with his simple but absolutely dignified demeanor left me convinced about a thought that I have always believed it - the importance of having a clean conscience and building respect for oneself in one's own eyes. How does one build trustworthiness - with oneself and others? I believe, it is by defining one’s values, principles and rules in life and living by it, come what may. Honoring a promise made to oneself. A person who can do this will automatically build trust about himself/herself with people around.
Mr. Sharma spoke about the emphasis he lays on the importance of living by his beliefs and values in life - that of righteousness. He quoted an example where he put his job at stake to avoid paying bribe in a business deal - this incident irked questions from the audience about how one can survive in this bad world if we were to follow such rules or stick to such principles. In response to this, he quoted an incident where he happened to meet Azim Premji who gave a simple answer to this so called difficult question - Azimji's answer -"One does not get profitable by paying bribes to middlemen, in fact the returns get reduced - because, once a set-up is created using middlemen to get work done, the expectation increases at each level,and at the end, though the number of projects got is more, the returns definitely get diminished, as so many people need to be satisfied in between" - So true, but this is beyond understanding of 99 percent of the people.
But one thing is certain- I believe, the moment you make your principles clear to people and set their expectations right, how much ever they might bad mouth you in front of you as well as behind your back - they will dare not try any tricks with you. All the blabbering they do in front of you about how foolish you are to follow Gandhism - if I can say so- they do it only because they do not have the guts to be like you or follow the path of righteousness. Of course, there are many people who respect such values and principles in life - otherwise, there would not be a Infy or a Wipro or a MindTree Consulting...am sure there are many more, which do not come to my mind now...
Once we have all this defined, building a personal & organizational value system becomes easier - even if we cannot change much of organizational values, we can surely change the organization -but for that we need to define and prioritize our values in life.
Among many things that he spoke about, something that I remember very well is the leadership attributes one should develop - Beliefs,Values,Character,and Knowledge. To quote him -" As a good manager, hire people who can perform at least one function better that you can do"- In this world of insecurity, managers could probably take a cue from these lines.
Last but not the least, he spoke about how simple day-to-day things in our life can help us build self trustworthiness - something which I regularly follow - I could relate to it so much...I'm sure most of us can relate to it...take for example -practicing a fitness regime - it is so common for all of us to plan with great passion to run 5 km or go to gym for 30 mins daily or cut down on all our favorite food - only to end up doing 1/10th or none of what we planned and feeling terribly depressed about not being able to follow what we set out to do.
Believe me, these small promises made to oneself and not being able to fulfill them can bring one's morale down to a large extent. At least to me, fulfilling any commitment made by me to myself or to anyone is of utmost importance, else something inside my heart troubles me endlessly. Alok gave a simple suggestion of how it is better to set small goals and fulfill them, instead of making big plans only to see them fail. Taking the same fitness example - set short-term goals, probably going to gym 2 -3 times in a week or running 2 km daily or 3 days a week or whatever is comfortable for one -but, keep up the promise made and achieve those goals. This is what builds self-trustworthiness.
This thing about building self-trustworthiness is so satisfying, especially the act of following a short but regular fitness regime is so fulfilling to me...that I came back from my jog today and immediately decide to write this blog.
The run...the sweat...the satisfaction of doing what I promised myself...the pride of bettering myself everyday...its an amazing feeling!
There are so many instances which we can use to practice this and enrich our lives – be it at work (setting short internal deadlines for activities at work) or at home (following a well planned regime for day-to-day chores, cooking, cleaning etc…) or with our social life(control over spending or over indulging)…once we start doing it for one or two activities, automatically we search for fulfillment and meaning in everything that we do…I’m trying, failing at times, learning, nevertheless -getting back on my feet and trying harder…I want it to be a continuing journey, though it is tough and slow...it is better than quickly achieving something and losing it much before we realize what we achieved.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
"Relationships" - for a change, its about the love between siblings....
I happened to read this moving article on WSJ. It provoked me beyond words and brought me back to think about something that I have always believed in - westerners value feelings and relationships more than we Indians boast about ourselves...the media has painted a very wrong picture about them -that they lack patience, they have no family values...believe me, having lived in the US for considerable amount of time and having been friends with more Americans than Indians settled there..these people value family and relationships as much as or more than we do. They give it everything it takes to make a relationship succeed and really struggle hard to maintain it for long. But, yes..they are not hypocrites like most Indians are to drag on with a relationship if things are just not the same...they just move on...is that wrong?? If dragging on with something gone sour is patience, then I personally would not like to have that kind of a patient attitude. Each one's life is precious enough to be wasted on someone who does not value it...
Anyways, without divulging too much from the topic, I urge you guys to read on the following article. In a world where day in and day out we see brothers fighting over property, over whose gonna look after their parents, bragging about how money they spent on their sister's wedding...etc..etc.. here's a truly inspriring article about two brothers.
After a Brain Injury, a Business Plan
When an accident damaged his brother, Rob Groeschen built a company to help himBy THOMAS M. BURTONJune 6, 2007;
One evening in 2003, Rob Groeschen received a disturbing phone call. An irate man in Cincinnati had found Mr. Groeschen's older brother Tom, then 39 years old, wandering in his backyard. Mr. Groeschen got in his car and finally found his brother hours later across the Ohio River in Kentucky.
WSJ's Thomas Burton visits a company that aims to provide disabled workers with useful, rewarding work. Cincinnati-based In Return was founded by Rob Groeschen after his brother, Tom, suffered a traumatic brain injury. "I screwed up again," Tom said. Then he promptly forgot what had happened.
Not long after that, Rob Groeschen decided he had to do something about his brother. As children, they had been best friends. But since Tom suffered severe brain damage in a 1983 car crash, he had struggled to resume a normal life, while Rob watched in an agony of guilt and frustration. "I ran away from Tom's accident for years," Rob says. "But it always haunted me."
An estimated nine million people in the U.S. are disabled from stroke, traumatic brain injury or brain hemorrhage. While rehabilitation helps some, many remain like Tom Groeschen, unable to function at anywhere near their former capacity. People with brain injury vary widely in their abilities, from day to day. Often their memory and thought processes are damaged by their injury. Sometimes their accidents batter their judgment and their actions occasionally can veer wildly into the inappropriate.
Yet, with few options for additional help, most have nowhere else to go but back to an unwelcoming world. Some must depend heavily on their families, most of whom are ill-prepared to deal with a family member who has changed profoundly. Even the most attentive families are forced to simply watch as loved ones degenerate.
To Rob Groeschen, 42, standing by finally became unacceptable. As a bashful kid, he had idolized Tom, a high-school football hero. More than 20 years later, Rob, who had become a wealthy businessman, decided to complete the reversal of roles: He created an unusual new business to help Tom, and gave himself a new mid-career mission.
* * *Applause washed over Tom Groeschen, then 18, as he rose to accept a trophy naming him one of the top 22 high-school football players in Kentucky. One of those clapping was his younger brother Rob, then 16.
Tom and Rob, the youngest of the six children of Jack and LaVern Groeschen (pronounced GRESH-en), grew up in Fort Thomas, Ky., a hilly suburb across the Ohio River from Cincinnati. Their father died when they were still in grade school.
Tom was athletic and gregarious, Rob scrawny and shy. When they played pickup baseball, Tom always chose his brother first, saving Rob the embarrassment of being chosen last. In high school, blond, good-looking Tom was homecoming king, prom king and the star running back for Highlands High School's 1981 state championship team. Rob was basically unnoticed, lacking motivation for classes or sports. An old friend of Rob's, John Bankemper, recalls, "Rob was the one no one ever had any expectations of."
But Tom let Rob hang out with his older friends and, if anyone picked on Rob, Tom intervened. The night of the football banquet, Tom insisted that Rob attend and sit next to him. "Tom was the coolest," Rob says. "I was proud just to be his brother."
Around midnight on Aug. 10, 1983, two police officers knocked on the Groeschens' door. They told Mrs. Groeschen that Tom, who was about to start his sophomore year at Eastern Kentucky University, had been in an auto crash. Assuming it was minor, she and Rob drove to a nearby hospital where they learned, to their shock, that Tom actually was at the nearest trauma center, the University Hospital in Cincinnati.
Earlier that night, Tom and a friend had been partying on an Ohio River houseboat. Around 9 p.m., they went for something to eat. Police later found Tom's green Dodge Charger smashed into a guardrail off Interstate 471 in northern Kentucky. His friend was lying outside the car with a broken nose and multiple cuts. Tom was unconscious in the rear of the car, with only a faint pulse. It's not clear who had been driving; both Tom and his friend say they don't remember, and police say no records remain.
Tom had suffered severe head trauma and a collapsed lung and, for a few moments, his heart had stopped. Three days passed before his family knew he would even live. Mrs. Groeschen recalls a social worker speaking to her in a hushed tone: "You'll have to bury the person you knew, and accept the person you have now."
Tom Groeschen lingered in a coma for more than three months, withering away to 135 pounds, down from his playing weight of 195 on his 5-foot-11 frame. One day Rob picked up his brother's leg and was horrified to see how spindly it was.
That fall, Rob started school at Eastern Kentucky, where he had planned to join Tom. His mind was elsewhere. "I felt I should come home," Rob says. "I was feeling that the light was on me now. It was, 'Now what are you going to do?' "
In November, Mrs. Groeschen moved Tom to the Cardinal Hill Rehabilitation Hospital in Lexington, Ky. Rob visited most days, watching Tom struggle as therapists tried to teach him how to speak, walk and hold a fork. Tom's determination made a big impression on Rob, almost the way Tom's football stardom had.
Sometimes friends accompanied Rob on visits. They noticed he was uncharacteristically silent afterward. After one visit, he told his friend Brad Kisker, "One day I know I'm going to be Tom's caretaker."
Tom left the rehab center in February 1984 after officials told the Groeschens there wasn't much more to do for him. By then, he could walk mostly on his own, pushing his wheelchair. He could speak somewhat intelligibly, though his voice often trailed off.
Many families at this point place their loved ones in a nursing home. But Mrs. Groeschen rejected that idea, believing that Tom would return to normal.
Mrs. Groeschen had Tom audit classes at Northern Kentucky University. He dropped out after a month when professors concluded he couldn't retain information. Nor could Tom handle plumbing and painting classes at a vocational school. He took a job in a kitchen, but got fired after cutting himself chopping radishes and bleeding on food. He lost a grocery-store job because he couldn't control the floor-polisher. He flunked a tryout at a bakery when he couldn't work the cake-icing applicator.
Eventually, over many months, the Groeschens came to realize the old Tom might never truly return. "It was, 'We can do this, we can do that,' " says LaVern Groeschen. "Well, we couldn't."
Home from college in the summer of 1984, Rob took Tom out for beers at a local pub. Friends wanted to reminisce about high school and football. Tom grinned, but couldn't remember any of his glory days. A wandering eye at times made him look strange. Rob's friends sympathized, but that just made him relive the accident. "I would think, why not me?" he says now. "Why didn't it happen to an underachiever?"
Seven years later, Rob was succeeding professionally in Orlando, Fla. He had moved there after graduating from college in 1987, and taken a job driving a hazardous-waste truck for Safety-Kleen, an environmental-services company. His easy manner appealed to customers. Safety-Kleen put him through several leadership programs and in 1990 named him a sales manager.
He called Tom weekly but left his brother's care largely to his mother. During visits home, "being around Tom would drive me crazy," Rob recalls. When Tom set a drinking glass down, he often put it precariously on the edge of a table. Outside, Tom skipped down the street, careful not to step on sidewalk cracks. Rob often felt relieved upon returning to Florida.
For a while he dated a physical therapist. Rob already was feeling he should be doing more for Tom, and she encouraged him to do it. He liked his carefree life in Orlando, but worried that if he didn't act soon, he might never.
In 1991, he asked Safety-Kleen for a transfer. The company gave him a bigger managerial job in Ohio. "I was more confident that I could make a difference in his life just by my presence," Rob says. "He was one of my programs, one of the things I needed to do."
* * *Tom was living with his mother in Fort Thomas, a short drive away. He and Rob saw each other every few days. When Rob started dating Brenda Hatton, a schoolteacher, he had Tom tag along with them to Cincinnati Reds baseball and Cincinnati Bengals football games.
At times, it was awkward. Like many people with traumatic brain injury, Tom had lost some ability to recognize inappropriate behavior. Seeing a pretty woman, he'd make the lewd sort of remark an adolescent might make. Sometimes he'd go to the restroom and disappear, and Rob would have to search the stadium for him.
Brenda took it mostly in stride. She thought she knew how much Tom meant to Rob. But she was especially moved by what happened the night Rob took her to a Safety-Kleen awards banquet in 1993. After accepting a plaque for his sales performance, Rob returned to his table in tears. He was remembering the football banquet he'd attended with Tom all those years ago, and he was thinking about how Tom's achievements since the accident had inspired him to succeed for both of them.
"This is for Tom," he told Brenda. "I couldn't have done this without Tom."
At the same time, Rob was learning that what he could do for his brother was limited. He and their mother tried to find Tom jobs, but again he wasn't up to most of them. For years, they tried to get him into an assisted-living apartment, but Tom performed too well on reading and other tests to qualify.
Many people in Tom's condition face similar obstacles. Tom isn't retarded -- he's brain-injured. And many brain-injured people vary widely in their abilities. The assisted-living apartments have limited capacity and are intended for the profoundly impaired. When tested, Tom, ever the competitor, rose to the challenge -- and ruled himself out by doing too well.
Tom finally found a job he was able to hold onto, cleaning bathrooms at a truck stop on Interstate 75 in northern Kentucky near Cincinnati. Each morning, he woke at 5 a.m. to take buses two hours to work. After work, he took the bus back home to his mother's house, then usually fell asleep watching television. He no longer had any friends. When asked what he did for a living, he responded disparagingly, "I clean up s- after people." He held the job for a decade, eventually earning $7 an hour. He frequently told his mother and brother that he regretted the night of his accident. "I screwed up again," was a constant refrain.
Like many brain-injured people, Tom developed self-destructive habits. He started smoking. He shoplifted dozens of cigarette lighters. When Rob explained that stealing was wrong, Tom couldn't understand, arguing that the stores had plenty of lighters, Rob says.
Some nights Tom got lost coming home. He missed transfers, fell asleep in bus stations and sometimes just wandered off for no apparent reason. Each time, Rob spent hours looking for him.
That's what happened in 2003 when Tom wound up in a strange backyard in a rough Cincinnati neighborhood. A resident thought Tom was drunk, Rob says. Tom gave the man a phone number for Mrs. Groeschen, who called Rob. Rob told Tom to stay put. But by the time Rob arrived, Tom was on a bus heading in the wrong direction. Rob finally tracked him down at 11 p.m. at the bus station in Covington, Ky.
By then, Rob had started his own business, a recycling and hazardous-waste-handling company called Resource One. With such big customers as Sherwin-Williams Co. and the Honda America unit of Honda Motor Co., Rob built it into a $12 million a year business, growing at 30% and more annually. He and Brenda, now his wife, lived with three daughters in a hilltop home overlooking woods and a creek.
But for all of his success, his "program" for Tom wasn't working. His hope was to find a job for Tom that was rewarding and a semi-independent place for him to live. He began to think of potential environmental-services businesses that could employ people like Tom. The jobs had to be simple and safe, yet challenging enough to be rewarding. If such a company could turn a profit, it could become that last link in the chain to help brain-injured people re-enter society, Rob thought.
In 2004, Rob began discussing the idea with his business manager and accountant, Kathy O'Brien. To learn about options for the brain-injured, they visited rehab centers and workplaces for the impaired in Arkansas, Tennessee and Illinois.
Nationally, there are few working situations well-suited to people with brain injuries. "The difficulty with traumatic brain injury is that a person once had a higher level of function," says Gregory O'Shanick, national medical director of the Brain Injury Association of America. In general, "a person with brain injury will experience depression in an environment like a sheltered workshop," he says.
The ideal workplace would strike a balance between simple tasks and encouragement of growth, while offering sufficient break time and honing of social skills. For example, workers would be given chances to master simple tasks like assembling products but also the chance to gradually expand their responsibilities; many brain-injured people once had greater abilities and can get frustrated if they're not challenged. At the same time, the ideal workplace would integrate the teaching of "life skills" like appropriate conversation and behavior -- activities normally done with specialized therapists.
* * *As he considered the options, Rob tapped thoughts about his motivations into a home computer. "I personally have not recovered from Tom's accident but continue to look for reasons and answers," Rob wrote in the fall of 2004. One night soon after that, he announced to Brenda, "I can't wait for something to open up for Tom. I have to do it myself."
On Jan. 2, 2005, Rob opened a warehouse-and-office facility in Blue Ash, Ohio, a Cincinnati suburb. It housed his thriving original business, plus a new nonprofit company he called In Return. His plan was that the new company would hire people with special needs, especially those with brain injuries. With its nonprofit tax advantage, he thought the company could make money by selling products used in industrial maintenance to absorb spills, among other items.
Rob says the company's name signifies both a return to normal life for the brain-injured, and his personal payback to Tom. Rob, Tom and other employees marked the occasion with a small champagne party in the front office. Tom drank nonalcoholic champagne.
Many mornings, Tom and the five other brain-injured workers recite a pledge of self-esteem written by author and therapist Virginia Satir. "There is no one else exactly like me," they recite. "I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me...I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest and invent something new for that which I discarded."
Then they go to work stuffing ground-up rags and defective diaper fabric into 4-foot-long pieces of blue cloth to make industrial "socks." The socks are used by In Return customers, like Honda, to soak up manufacturing oil and grease. Each worker stamps each sock he makes with his own stamp. They take 10-minute breaks every hour.
There are pool and ping-pong tables, and general manager Charlie Parris, who isn't brain-injured, brings in outside instructors to teach writing, art, exercises and other skills. Some workers put together gift baskets, another product that the company sells.
In Return is losing money so far, but Rob is convinced that he simply needs to market his products better.
In Return was 18 months old when Rob's friend and financial adviser, Monte Hazelbaker, grilled him about its finances at a Cincinnati Reds game. Rob confessed he already had lost $200,000 on the venture.
"Wouldn't it be easier to hire Tom at Resource One and shut down In Return?" Mr. Hazelbaker recalls asking. "You could give money to charity. You could lease out part of the building."
"I'm well aware of that," Rob said. "But no one's going to do what I'm doing." He felt there were few other places that offered employment intended to support people with brain injuries.
Running both In Return and his other company has put a strain on Rob's marriage. Brenda says she initially wasn't disturbed three years ago when Rob announced his plans for In Return. "It was definitely just dropped on me," she says. "Had I looked into a crystal ball and seen the tons of extra stress this would cause, well, frustration is getting the upper hand now."
She says Rob sometimes seems emotionally absent around her and their three daughters. "I have these feelings like, 'Listen buddy, you've got to slow down.' And yet I feel bad about saying that because he's doing such good."
Last Christmas morning, Brenda tearfully confronted Rob. "I miss you," she said. "You're putting yourself on an island." He promised to do better.
Recently, though, he says he was surprised when he realized his daughter Jackie was about to celebrate her 5th birthday; he had been so busy, he simply didn't focus on how fast she was growing up. That especially disappointed Brenda because Rob usually makes a big deal out of birthdays. She says she thinks she knows where "his crazy need to go-go-go" may come from. "It's as if he's trying to be two people."
Rob acknowledges that his efforts to make In Return a success have distracted him from his family, and says he's trying to remedy that. "I don't want to be a workaholic," he says. "But I am."
People who have seen Tom lately say they hardly recognize him. He used to sit alone, eyes downcast, trying to be invisible. He slurred his words if he talked at all; now he generally speaks more clearly.
On the job, he smiles. He smokes less and has quit shoplifting. He works out on a stair machine daily. Jennifer Cavitt, a University of Cincinnati neurologist who sees Tom occasionally, says, "He has a more positive attitude, and part of this no doubt is from his enjoyment of the new job situation."
The job provides structure for Tom, but offers room to develop: He has begun managing other workers some, and works on various product lines. At In Return, most of the manufacturing is simple -- such as stuffing absorbent material into cloth and the like. But Tom gets a chance to train new workers and to be in charge of one product line, recycling defective shock absorbers. And all the workers get the chance to socialize during breaks and work on physical development and skills like writing and artwork. Rob believes that, if he can make the business sustainable, it can be replicated elsewhere to return the brain-injured to society.
Tom even shows flashes of humor. After learning how to send email at work, Tom sent one to Rob, who was out of town: "We're making some changes around here."
Tom, now 43 years old, recently was approved for an assisted-living apartment. He proudly calls it "my one-bedroom mansion." But, asked about his youth, he says, "I don't remember growing up."
Outside his warehouse, the sign for In Return sits above the one for Resource One, Rob's for-profit company. Rob says he wants to hire more workers at In Return and start a van service to shuttle them to and from work. He'd love to train future greenhouse workers if he can find money to build a greenhouse. "Within our walls we can help 30 people," Rob says. "I want to help 300."
More than anything, Rob wants to broaden the possibilities for his brother. He thinks Tom might someday be able to manage others like himself, maybe even get married and have children. "I'm not sure there is a ceiling," Rob says.
As for Rob, In Return "certainly has given me a purpose in life," he says. He still looks up to his brother, saying, "I can't imagine moving on from this earth not knowing what will happen to Tom."
Anyways, without divulging too much from the topic, I urge you guys to read on the following article. In a world where day in and day out we see brothers fighting over property, over whose gonna look after their parents, bragging about how money they spent on their sister's wedding...etc..etc.. here's a truly inspriring article about two brothers.
After a Brain Injury, a Business Plan
When an accident damaged his brother, Rob Groeschen built a company to help himBy THOMAS M. BURTONJune 6, 2007;
One evening in 2003, Rob Groeschen received a disturbing phone call. An irate man in Cincinnati had found Mr. Groeschen's older brother Tom, then 39 years old, wandering in his backyard. Mr. Groeschen got in his car and finally found his brother hours later across the Ohio River in Kentucky.
WSJ's Thomas Burton visits a company that aims to provide disabled workers with useful, rewarding work. Cincinnati-based In Return was founded by Rob Groeschen after his brother, Tom, suffered a traumatic brain injury. "I screwed up again," Tom said. Then he promptly forgot what had happened.
Not long after that, Rob Groeschen decided he had to do something about his brother. As children, they had been best friends. But since Tom suffered severe brain damage in a 1983 car crash, he had struggled to resume a normal life, while Rob watched in an agony of guilt and frustration. "I ran away from Tom's accident for years," Rob says. "But it always haunted me."
An estimated nine million people in the U.S. are disabled from stroke, traumatic brain injury or brain hemorrhage. While rehabilitation helps some, many remain like Tom Groeschen, unable to function at anywhere near their former capacity. People with brain injury vary widely in their abilities, from day to day. Often their memory and thought processes are damaged by their injury. Sometimes their accidents batter their judgment and their actions occasionally can veer wildly into the inappropriate.
Yet, with few options for additional help, most have nowhere else to go but back to an unwelcoming world. Some must depend heavily on their families, most of whom are ill-prepared to deal with a family member who has changed profoundly. Even the most attentive families are forced to simply watch as loved ones degenerate.
To Rob Groeschen, 42, standing by finally became unacceptable. As a bashful kid, he had idolized Tom, a high-school football hero. More than 20 years later, Rob, who had become a wealthy businessman, decided to complete the reversal of roles: He created an unusual new business to help Tom, and gave himself a new mid-career mission.
* * *Applause washed over Tom Groeschen, then 18, as he rose to accept a trophy naming him one of the top 22 high-school football players in Kentucky. One of those clapping was his younger brother Rob, then 16.
Tom and Rob, the youngest of the six children of Jack and LaVern Groeschen (pronounced GRESH-en), grew up in Fort Thomas, Ky., a hilly suburb across the Ohio River from Cincinnati. Their father died when they were still in grade school.
Tom was athletic and gregarious, Rob scrawny and shy. When they played pickup baseball, Tom always chose his brother first, saving Rob the embarrassment of being chosen last. In high school, blond, good-looking Tom was homecoming king, prom king and the star running back for Highlands High School's 1981 state championship team. Rob was basically unnoticed, lacking motivation for classes or sports. An old friend of Rob's, John Bankemper, recalls, "Rob was the one no one ever had any expectations of."
But Tom let Rob hang out with his older friends and, if anyone picked on Rob, Tom intervened. The night of the football banquet, Tom insisted that Rob attend and sit next to him. "Tom was the coolest," Rob says. "I was proud just to be his brother."
Around midnight on Aug. 10, 1983, two police officers knocked on the Groeschens' door. They told Mrs. Groeschen that Tom, who was about to start his sophomore year at Eastern Kentucky University, had been in an auto crash. Assuming it was minor, she and Rob drove to a nearby hospital where they learned, to their shock, that Tom actually was at the nearest trauma center, the University Hospital in Cincinnati.
Earlier that night, Tom and a friend had been partying on an Ohio River houseboat. Around 9 p.m., they went for something to eat. Police later found Tom's green Dodge Charger smashed into a guardrail off Interstate 471 in northern Kentucky. His friend was lying outside the car with a broken nose and multiple cuts. Tom was unconscious in the rear of the car, with only a faint pulse. It's not clear who had been driving; both Tom and his friend say they don't remember, and police say no records remain.
Tom had suffered severe head trauma and a collapsed lung and, for a few moments, his heart had stopped. Three days passed before his family knew he would even live. Mrs. Groeschen recalls a social worker speaking to her in a hushed tone: "You'll have to bury the person you knew, and accept the person you have now."
Tom Groeschen lingered in a coma for more than three months, withering away to 135 pounds, down from his playing weight of 195 on his 5-foot-11 frame. One day Rob picked up his brother's leg and was horrified to see how spindly it was.
That fall, Rob started school at Eastern Kentucky, where he had planned to join Tom. His mind was elsewhere. "I felt I should come home," Rob says. "I was feeling that the light was on me now. It was, 'Now what are you going to do?' "
In November, Mrs. Groeschen moved Tom to the Cardinal Hill Rehabilitation Hospital in Lexington, Ky. Rob visited most days, watching Tom struggle as therapists tried to teach him how to speak, walk and hold a fork. Tom's determination made a big impression on Rob, almost the way Tom's football stardom had.
Sometimes friends accompanied Rob on visits. They noticed he was uncharacteristically silent afterward. After one visit, he told his friend Brad Kisker, "One day I know I'm going to be Tom's caretaker."
Tom left the rehab center in February 1984 after officials told the Groeschens there wasn't much more to do for him. By then, he could walk mostly on his own, pushing his wheelchair. He could speak somewhat intelligibly, though his voice often trailed off.
Many families at this point place their loved ones in a nursing home. But Mrs. Groeschen rejected that idea, believing that Tom would return to normal.
Mrs. Groeschen had Tom audit classes at Northern Kentucky University. He dropped out after a month when professors concluded he couldn't retain information. Nor could Tom handle plumbing and painting classes at a vocational school. He took a job in a kitchen, but got fired after cutting himself chopping radishes and bleeding on food. He lost a grocery-store job because he couldn't control the floor-polisher. He flunked a tryout at a bakery when he couldn't work the cake-icing applicator.
Eventually, over many months, the Groeschens came to realize the old Tom might never truly return. "It was, 'We can do this, we can do that,' " says LaVern Groeschen. "Well, we couldn't."
Home from college in the summer of 1984, Rob took Tom out for beers at a local pub. Friends wanted to reminisce about high school and football. Tom grinned, but couldn't remember any of his glory days. A wandering eye at times made him look strange. Rob's friends sympathized, but that just made him relive the accident. "I would think, why not me?" he says now. "Why didn't it happen to an underachiever?"
Seven years later, Rob was succeeding professionally in Orlando, Fla. He had moved there after graduating from college in 1987, and taken a job driving a hazardous-waste truck for Safety-Kleen, an environmental-services company. His easy manner appealed to customers. Safety-Kleen put him through several leadership programs and in 1990 named him a sales manager.
He called Tom weekly but left his brother's care largely to his mother. During visits home, "being around Tom would drive me crazy," Rob recalls. When Tom set a drinking glass down, he often put it precariously on the edge of a table. Outside, Tom skipped down the street, careful not to step on sidewalk cracks. Rob often felt relieved upon returning to Florida.
For a while he dated a physical therapist. Rob already was feeling he should be doing more for Tom, and she encouraged him to do it. He liked his carefree life in Orlando, but worried that if he didn't act soon, he might never.
In 1991, he asked Safety-Kleen for a transfer. The company gave him a bigger managerial job in Ohio. "I was more confident that I could make a difference in his life just by my presence," Rob says. "He was one of my programs, one of the things I needed to do."
* * *Tom was living with his mother in Fort Thomas, a short drive away. He and Rob saw each other every few days. When Rob started dating Brenda Hatton, a schoolteacher, he had Tom tag along with them to Cincinnati Reds baseball and Cincinnati Bengals football games.
At times, it was awkward. Like many people with traumatic brain injury, Tom had lost some ability to recognize inappropriate behavior. Seeing a pretty woman, he'd make the lewd sort of remark an adolescent might make. Sometimes he'd go to the restroom and disappear, and Rob would have to search the stadium for him.
Brenda took it mostly in stride. She thought she knew how much Tom meant to Rob. But she was especially moved by what happened the night Rob took her to a Safety-Kleen awards banquet in 1993. After accepting a plaque for his sales performance, Rob returned to his table in tears. He was remembering the football banquet he'd attended with Tom all those years ago, and he was thinking about how Tom's achievements since the accident had inspired him to succeed for both of them.
"This is for Tom," he told Brenda. "I couldn't have done this without Tom."
At the same time, Rob was learning that what he could do for his brother was limited. He and their mother tried to find Tom jobs, but again he wasn't up to most of them. For years, they tried to get him into an assisted-living apartment, but Tom performed too well on reading and other tests to qualify.
Many people in Tom's condition face similar obstacles. Tom isn't retarded -- he's brain-injured. And many brain-injured people vary widely in their abilities. The assisted-living apartments have limited capacity and are intended for the profoundly impaired. When tested, Tom, ever the competitor, rose to the challenge -- and ruled himself out by doing too well.
Tom finally found a job he was able to hold onto, cleaning bathrooms at a truck stop on Interstate 75 in northern Kentucky near Cincinnati. Each morning, he woke at 5 a.m. to take buses two hours to work. After work, he took the bus back home to his mother's house, then usually fell asleep watching television. He no longer had any friends. When asked what he did for a living, he responded disparagingly, "I clean up s- after people." He held the job for a decade, eventually earning $7 an hour. He frequently told his mother and brother that he regretted the night of his accident. "I screwed up again," was a constant refrain.
Like many brain-injured people, Tom developed self-destructive habits. He started smoking. He shoplifted dozens of cigarette lighters. When Rob explained that stealing was wrong, Tom couldn't understand, arguing that the stores had plenty of lighters, Rob says.
Some nights Tom got lost coming home. He missed transfers, fell asleep in bus stations and sometimes just wandered off for no apparent reason. Each time, Rob spent hours looking for him.
That's what happened in 2003 when Tom wound up in a strange backyard in a rough Cincinnati neighborhood. A resident thought Tom was drunk, Rob says. Tom gave the man a phone number for Mrs. Groeschen, who called Rob. Rob told Tom to stay put. But by the time Rob arrived, Tom was on a bus heading in the wrong direction. Rob finally tracked him down at 11 p.m. at the bus station in Covington, Ky.
By then, Rob had started his own business, a recycling and hazardous-waste-handling company called Resource One. With such big customers as Sherwin-Williams Co. and the Honda America unit of Honda Motor Co., Rob built it into a $12 million a year business, growing at 30% and more annually. He and Brenda, now his wife, lived with three daughters in a hilltop home overlooking woods and a creek.
But for all of his success, his "program" for Tom wasn't working. His hope was to find a job for Tom that was rewarding and a semi-independent place for him to live. He began to think of potential environmental-services businesses that could employ people like Tom. The jobs had to be simple and safe, yet challenging enough to be rewarding. If such a company could turn a profit, it could become that last link in the chain to help brain-injured people re-enter society, Rob thought.
In 2004, Rob began discussing the idea with his business manager and accountant, Kathy O'Brien. To learn about options for the brain-injured, they visited rehab centers and workplaces for the impaired in Arkansas, Tennessee and Illinois.
Nationally, there are few working situations well-suited to people with brain injuries. "The difficulty with traumatic brain injury is that a person once had a higher level of function," says Gregory O'Shanick, national medical director of the Brain Injury Association of America. In general, "a person with brain injury will experience depression in an environment like a sheltered workshop," he says.
The ideal workplace would strike a balance between simple tasks and encouragement of growth, while offering sufficient break time and honing of social skills. For example, workers would be given chances to master simple tasks like assembling products but also the chance to gradually expand their responsibilities; many brain-injured people once had greater abilities and can get frustrated if they're not challenged. At the same time, the ideal workplace would integrate the teaching of "life skills" like appropriate conversation and behavior -- activities normally done with specialized therapists.
* * *As he considered the options, Rob tapped thoughts about his motivations into a home computer. "I personally have not recovered from Tom's accident but continue to look for reasons and answers," Rob wrote in the fall of 2004. One night soon after that, he announced to Brenda, "I can't wait for something to open up for Tom. I have to do it myself."
On Jan. 2, 2005, Rob opened a warehouse-and-office facility in Blue Ash, Ohio, a Cincinnati suburb. It housed his thriving original business, plus a new nonprofit company he called In Return. His plan was that the new company would hire people with special needs, especially those with brain injuries. With its nonprofit tax advantage, he thought the company could make money by selling products used in industrial maintenance to absorb spills, among other items.
Rob says the company's name signifies both a return to normal life for the brain-injured, and his personal payback to Tom. Rob, Tom and other employees marked the occasion with a small champagne party in the front office. Tom drank nonalcoholic champagne.
Many mornings, Tom and the five other brain-injured workers recite a pledge of self-esteem written by author and therapist Virginia Satir. "There is no one else exactly like me," they recite. "I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me...I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest and invent something new for that which I discarded."
Then they go to work stuffing ground-up rags and defective diaper fabric into 4-foot-long pieces of blue cloth to make industrial "socks." The socks are used by In Return customers, like Honda, to soak up manufacturing oil and grease. Each worker stamps each sock he makes with his own stamp. They take 10-minute breaks every hour.
There are pool and ping-pong tables, and general manager Charlie Parris, who isn't brain-injured, brings in outside instructors to teach writing, art, exercises and other skills. Some workers put together gift baskets, another product that the company sells.
In Return is losing money so far, but Rob is convinced that he simply needs to market his products better.
In Return was 18 months old when Rob's friend and financial adviser, Monte Hazelbaker, grilled him about its finances at a Cincinnati Reds game. Rob confessed he already had lost $200,000 on the venture.
"Wouldn't it be easier to hire Tom at Resource One and shut down In Return?" Mr. Hazelbaker recalls asking. "You could give money to charity. You could lease out part of the building."
"I'm well aware of that," Rob said. "But no one's going to do what I'm doing." He felt there were few other places that offered employment intended to support people with brain injuries.
Running both In Return and his other company has put a strain on Rob's marriage. Brenda says she initially wasn't disturbed three years ago when Rob announced his plans for In Return. "It was definitely just dropped on me," she says. "Had I looked into a crystal ball and seen the tons of extra stress this would cause, well, frustration is getting the upper hand now."
She says Rob sometimes seems emotionally absent around her and their three daughters. "I have these feelings like, 'Listen buddy, you've got to slow down.' And yet I feel bad about saying that because he's doing such good."
Last Christmas morning, Brenda tearfully confronted Rob. "I miss you," she said. "You're putting yourself on an island." He promised to do better.
Recently, though, he says he was surprised when he realized his daughter Jackie was about to celebrate her 5th birthday; he had been so busy, he simply didn't focus on how fast she was growing up. That especially disappointed Brenda because Rob usually makes a big deal out of birthdays. She says she thinks she knows where "his crazy need to go-go-go" may come from. "It's as if he's trying to be two people."
Rob acknowledges that his efforts to make In Return a success have distracted him from his family, and says he's trying to remedy that. "I don't want to be a workaholic," he says. "But I am."
People who have seen Tom lately say they hardly recognize him. He used to sit alone, eyes downcast, trying to be invisible. He slurred his words if he talked at all; now he generally speaks more clearly.
On the job, he smiles. He smokes less and has quit shoplifting. He works out on a stair machine daily. Jennifer Cavitt, a University of Cincinnati neurologist who sees Tom occasionally, says, "He has a more positive attitude, and part of this no doubt is from his enjoyment of the new job situation."
The job provides structure for Tom, but offers room to develop: He has begun managing other workers some, and works on various product lines. At In Return, most of the manufacturing is simple -- such as stuffing absorbent material into cloth and the like. But Tom gets a chance to train new workers and to be in charge of one product line, recycling defective shock absorbers. And all the workers get the chance to socialize during breaks and work on physical development and skills like writing and artwork. Rob believes that, if he can make the business sustainable, it can be replicated elsewhere to return the brain-injured to society.
Tom even shows flashes of humor. After learning how to send email at work, Tom sent one to Rob, who was out of town: "We're making some changes around here."
Tom, now 43 years old, recently was approved for an assisted-living apartment. He proudly calls it "my one-bedroom mansion." But, asked about his youth, he says, "I don't remember growing up."
Outside his warehouse, the sign for In Return sits above the one for Resource One, Rob's for-profit company. Rob says he wants to hire more workers at In Return and start a van service to shuttle them to and from work. He'd love to train future greenhouse workers if he can find money to build a greenhouse. "Within our walls we can help 30 people," Rob says. "I want to help 300."
More than anything, Rob wants to broaden the possibilities for his brother. He thinks Tom might someday be able to manage others like himself, maybe even get married and have children. "I'm not sure there is a ceiling," Rob says.
As for Rob, In Return "certainly has given me a purpose in life," he says. He still looks up to his brother, saying, "I can't imagine moving on from this earth not knowing what will happen to Tom."
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Dream Come True!
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Dream Come True!!
April 22nd, 2007 will remain special to me throughout my life...this is the day my MBA convocation was held when I graduated from Great Lakes Institute of Management.
Its been quite a journey reaching this far...I have always wanted to do my MBA since my engineering days..If fate would have permitted, I would have done it then itself..but no, there was something elso in store for me...I worked for nearly 5 yrs and then joined Great Lakes. I could very clearly see the reason why I was destined to do my MBA now..the amount of learning that happens once you join school after a rich stint of work-ex is simply phenomenal...it totally enhances your thinking and outlook about so many things...will not dive deep into this area as the learning I have had is too close to my current job.
What I like most about the convocation is that it was blessed by Mrs. Sudha Murthy's presence. A human being I admire from the bottom of my heart ( I have written at length about her in my earlier posts)...my respect for her has increased beyond imagination after meeting her in person. The lady living up to her simple lifestyle turned up in a cotton saree and hair decked with frest Jasmine flowers. In her address to the gathering she emphasized on her simple beliefs that give us utmost pleasure in life and urged us to take time out to live one's life by being contended, instead of just chasing money at the cost of not enjoying what you have on hand - the lively dinner that you have with your parents, the simple walks you go for with you spouse or the time you spend getting your child do the homework - all this bonding cannot be replaced by earning millions..the lady quoted a real-life experience of one of her students about the same in less than 10 mins address and left the entire audience spell bound with her simple speech that had such a profound meaning..Ma'am I am so glad that I took my degree from you...I will ever be thankful to god for this opportunity!
So, the dream come true caption of this post is for dual reasons - primarily for meeting Mrs. Sudha Murthy and secondly for having earned my MBA degree!:))
April 22nd, 2007 will remain special to me throughout my life...this is the day my MBA convocation was held when I graduated from Great Lakes Institute of Management.
Its been quite a journey reaching this far...I have always wanted to do my MBA since my engineering days..If fate would have permitted, I would have done it then itself..but no, there was something elso in store for me...I worked for nearly 5 yrs and then joined Great Lakes. I could very clearly see the reason why I was destined to do my MBA now..the amount of learning that happens once you join school after a rich stint of work-ex is simply phenomenal...it totally enhances your thinking and outlook about so many things...will not dive deep into this area as the learning I have had is too close to my current job.
What I like most about the convocation is that it was blessed by Mrs. Sudha Murthy's presence. A human being I admire from the bottom of my heart ( I have written at length about her in my earlier posts)...my respect for her has increased beyond imagination after meeting her in person. The lady living up to her simple lifestyle turned up in a cotton saree and hair decked with frest Jasmine flowers. In her address to the gathering she emphasized on her simple beliefs that give us utmost pleasure in life and urged us to take time out to live one's life by being contended, instead of just chasing money at the cost of not enjoying what you have on hand - the lively dinner that you have with your parents, the simple walks you go for with you spouse or the time you spend getting your child do the homework - all this bonding cannot be replaced by earning millions..the lady quoted a real-life experience of one of her students about the same in less than 10 mins address and left the entire audience spell bound with her simple speech that had such a profound meaning..Ma'am I am so glad that I took my degree from you...I will ever be thankful to god for this opportunity!
So, the dream come true caption of this post is for dual reasons - primarily for meeting Mrs. Sudha Murthy and secondly for having earned my MBA degree!:))
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Attitude
Terribly frustrated about people's attitude!It really beats me how people can speak lowly about something they got into by their own choice. Take for example, how most people feel about their jobs...8 out of 10 people I meet speak ill about their previous companies or their current companies. Think about it, you are in a situation because either you chose to get into it or were in one or the other way forced to get into it based on the situational factors. Once you are there, whats the point in bullshitting about how bad the role was or pay was or ur boss was....heights of MEDIOCRITY. If you felt you were capable of being in some other better role/company/pay then you should have got it..for whatever reasons you did not get it and landed up in your current situation, one needs to focus and make the most of learning from it.
This is a major attitude problem in most employees today...what they don't probably understand is they are questioning their own thinking and decision making ability by bullshitting about their situation. Arre, you try to get the best of all - you want to be in your home town, work in a office where ur girlfriend works, you want to get a meaty role despite ur misfit for the role and over and above that u want a 6 o 7 figure salary!! I wish life was so easy...where you got all this on a platter.
Time and again, I have seen such people who cannot take pride in what they are doing or their job, fail miserably in their careers..world is a very small place- this statement could not have been truer than before. One should think twice before speaking ill about their companies and roles and managers as there is not too much option for such people. Its just a churn happening all the time, where there are 6-7 companies and you keep jumping from one to another among these 7 only. One could be genuinely unhappy with their current jobs, but whats the need to publicly speak ill about it, cause you are degrading urself by accepting that "YOU" did a mistake by getting into that situation. Realize what you have done, and silently look for something better or whatever you feel is good for you. Confession is different from Complaining..I have heard some people genuinely confessing that their current roles or jobs are not crafted out for them and hence they need to change..such people silently find their way out, instead of cribbing and sticking on to what they are currently doing.
With no shortage of skilled people available all the time, companies do not take lightly to this kind of Attitude where one is always cribbing about them. Apparently, it will show in your work. To go beyond these 6-7 companies, it requires much more than medicore thinking, especially in your attitude..you could probably fit the role in terms of skills, but you will get outrightly rejected because of your attitude...and let me tell you,only such companies can offer you meaty roles!
God really help such people who despite all their education, do not have the ability to take resposibility for their situation. If one does not cultivate this culture of taking responsibility or being accountable in the beginning of one's career, they do not or rather "cannot" go far! Having the right attitude is important to succeed in one;s profession. Someone somewhere said -"A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it." So true!
"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." -Oscar Wilde,
Someone beautifully summarized it:
Responsibility begins with the willingness to be cause in the matter of one's life. Ultimately, it is a context from which one chooses to live. Responsibility is not burden, fault, praise, blame, credit, shame or guilt. In responsibility, there is no evaluation of good or bad, right or wrong. There is simply what's so, and your stand. Being responsible starts with the willingness to deal with a situation from the view of life that you are the generator of what you do, what you have and what you are. That is not the truth. It is a place to stand. No one can make you responsible, nor can you impose responsibility on another. It is a grace you give yourself - an empowering context that leaves you with a say in the matter of life.-Werner Erhard
This is a major attitude problem in most employees today...what they don't probably understand is they are questioning their own thinking and decision making ability by bullshitting about their situation. Arre, you try to get the best of all - you want to be in your home town, work in a office where ur girlfriend works, you want to get a meaty role despite ur misfit for the role and over and above that u want a 6 o 7 figure salary!! I wish life was so easy...where you got all this on a platter.
Time and again, I have seen such people who cannot take pride in what they are doing or their job, fail miserably in their careers..world is a very small place- this statement could not have been truer than before. One should think twice before speaking ill about their companies and roles and managers as there is not too much option for such people. Its just a churn happening all the time, where there are 6-7 companies and you keep jumping from one to another among these 7 only. One could be genuinely unhappy with their current jobs, but whats the need to publicly speak ill about it, cause you are degrading urself by accepting that "YOU" did a mistake by getting into that situation. Realize what you have done, and silently look for something better or whatever you feel is good for you. Confession is different from Complaining..I have heard some people genuinely confessing that their current roles or jobs are not crafted out for them and hence they need to change..such people silently find their way out, instead of cribbing and sticking on to what they are currently doing.
With no shortage of skilled people available all the time, companies do not take lightly to this kind of Attitude where one is always cribbing about them. Apparently, it will show in your work. To go beyond these 6-7 companies, it requires much more than medicore thinking, especially in your attitude..you could probably fit the role in terms of skills, but you will get outrightly rejected because of your attitude...and let me tell you,only such companies can offer you meaty roles!
God really help such people who despite all their education, do not have the ability to take resposibility for their situation. If one does not cultivate this culture of taking responsibility or being accountable in the beginning of one's career, they do not or rather "cannot" go far! Having the right attitude is important to succeed in one;s profession. Someone somewhere said -"A professional is someone who can do his best work when he doesn't feel like it." So true!
"The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing." -Oscar Wilde,
Someone beautifully summarized it:
Responsibility begins with the willingness to be cause in the matter of one's life. Ultimately, it is a context from which one chooses to live. Responsibility is not burden, fault, praise, blame, credit, shame or guilt. In responsibility, there is no evaluation of good or bad, right or wrong. There is simply what's so, and your stand. Being responsible starts with the willingness to deal with a situation from the view of life that you are the generator of what you do, what you have and what you are. That is not the truth. It is a place to stand. No one can make you responsible, nor can you impose responsibility on another. It is a grace you give yourself - an empowering context that leaves you with a say in the matter of life.-Werner Erhard
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Placements- My Perspective
Heartthrobs of Recruiters
Ajay Bailur-the heartthrob of Infosys- the kudos he got from Infy HR and the tempting offer of role they made to him, says it all.
Kuldeep Singh Tahim - his CTS interviewer is so impressed with this chap that he takes him around to introduce him to the other panelists from the company. Do I need to say more?
Indranil Das - Castrol is so impressed with our Dada that the company creates a role specifically to suit Dada's strategic (?)requirements...they created a strategic role for this guy!…hats off!
A true gentleman -Karthik Ravichandran - heartthrob of Infy & HCL - they literally fought to get this guy, this guy agreed to stick to HCL as per the college rules when his dream was to work for Infosys. Amazing display of maturity! One might argue that anyone would have agreed to what college said…well, yes…but with a lot of coaxing to be done and by feeling totally dejected. But this guy amazed me with his calmness, composure and the grace with which he accepted to stick to HCL.
My favorite - Bala Pradeep Raj - Gives up one passion -finance (HSBC) to pursue another passion - work for Wipro! Apparently, the passion he gave up fulfilled Sriram's passion to be in HSBC. Both you guys have done enough good karma to have been in this situation!
Never say die! -Punit Vasu - this guy ran from pillar to post, attending a series of interviews, mostly in vain. I could see his tears clearly, till he bagged 2 offers in the evening. Punit, I'm proud of you for having chosen MindTree...a person of your character should be working with someone like Subroto Bagchi.
Lady Luck's favorite - Manan Sharma - He lost out on Grow Talent which was 99.999% through...he attended DSCL just to give it a shot and made it, only to know he had lost on Grow Talent…after this he goes to Genpact and comes out with flying colors!!I was almost in tears thinking of how will I tell him abt grow talent!! However, his good karma kept him in good stead..
You WILL get what you deserve if only you persevere - Pradeep Sonthalia -the finance stud (a true marwari too) was not too happy abt his TCS offer…obviously what will a marwari do in an IT firm:-)) the dude just rocked in Langham's interview and ended with a tempting offer in investment banking! Now that’s what u truly deserve!
Life is not about maths, always...So close, yet so far - Chandrashekar - This person accepts an offer from IBM and signs out of the process only to know that CTS has made him an absolutely tempting offer. Does he sulk? No..instead, cooly analyzes the roles and goes on to say, after the role is still good. Not an iota of depression because of the compensation difference. True display of life's experience and maturity. My respect towards you has only doubled, Sir!
Best Buddies -Recruiter's pick
Genpact -Mahalakshmi - This cute little girl impressed Genpact so much that they requested her to be the buddy next day as well, and on the final day asked her why she din apply to any IT companies(well, u can guess what they were hinting at?)...she single handedly handled a company that recruited 2 VPs!
Tenacity at its best - Neha and Balaji.A who acted as buddies to IBM. They only know what all they had to go through! It was by large, the toughest company to handle..Almost nothing was in place to begin with when this company landed at Green Meadows. They ended up making the maximum offers! Kudos to you both!
Vinodh Jeyraj- Ramco Systems -All those people who are placed in Ramco, you definitely owe big thanks to this guy! Btw, he also handled Godrej/CSC…tremendous effort, Vinu!! Thanks a ton!
Akash, Tejas – Wipro – the less said the better about the confusion these guys had to deal with…upon that the efforts they put in to “send people in”- u know what I mean :-)
Simplicity Personified - The following buddies came in, worked and just left as though it was their duty towards other students...when they are one among the students! Its amazing how some of them carried out the roles with little help from the committee...A real-time display of team spirit! Kudos to all you guys!
The sad part is most people among the batch probably don’t even realize what it takes to have been a buddy on that day and have slogged it out for others sake! Nevertheless, what these guys did only defines their strength of character! You guys were a boon to placement committee on these days. Thank You!
Ajay Bailur-the heartthrob of Infosys- the kudos he got from Infy HR and the tempting offer of role they made to him, says it all.
Kuldeep Singh Tahim - his CTS interviewer is so impressed with this chap that he takes him around to introduce him to the other panelists from the company. Do I need to say more?
Indranil Das - Castrol is so impressed with our Dada that the company creates a role specifically to suit Dada's strategic (?)requirements...they created a strategic role for this guy!…hats off!
A true gentleman -Karthik Ravichandran - heartthrob of Infy & HCL - they literally fought to get this guy, this guy agreed to stick to HCL as per the college rules when his dream was to work for Infosys. Amazing display of maturity! One might argue that anyone would have agreed to what college said…well, yes…but with a lot of coaxing to be done and by feeling totally dejected. But this guy amazed me with his calmness, composure and the grace with which he accepted to stick to HCL.
My favorite - Bala Pradeep Raj - Gives up one passion -finance (HSBC) to pursue another passion - work for Wipro! Apparently, the passion he gave up fulfilled Sriram's passion to be in HSBC. Both you guys have done enough good karma to have been in this situation!
Never say die! -Punit Vasu - this guy ran from pillar to post, attending a series of interviews, mostly in vain. I could see his tears clearly, till he bagged 2 offers in the evening. Punit, I'm proud of you for having chosen MindTree...a person of your character should be working with someone like Subroto Bagchi.
Lady Luck's favorite - Manan Sharma - He lost out on Grow Talent which was 99.999% through...he attended DSCL just to give it a shot and made it, only to know he had lost on Grow Talent…after this he goes to Genpact and comes out with flying colors!!I was almost in tears thinking of how will I tell him abt grow talent!! However, his good karma kept him in good stead..
You WILL get what you deserve if only you persevere - Pradeep Sonthalia -the finance stud (a true marwari too) was not too happy abt his TCS offer…obviously what will a marwari do in an IT firm:-)) the dude just rocked in Langham's interview and ended with a tempting offer in investment banking! Now that’s what u truly deserve!
Life is not about maths, always...So close, yet so far - Chandrashekar - This person accepts an offer from IBM and signs out of the process only to know that CTS has made him an absolutely tempting offer. Does he sulk? No..instead, cooly analyzes the roles and goes on to say, after the role is still good. Not an iota of depression because of the compensation difference. True display of life's experience and maturity. My respect towards you has only doubled, Sir!
Best Buddies -Recruiter's pick
Genpact -Mahalakshmi - This cute little girl impressed Genpact so much that they requested her to be the buddy next day as well, and on the final day asked her why she din apply to any IT companies(well, u can guess what they were hinting at?)...she single handedly handled a company that recruited 2 VPs!
Tenacity at its best - Neha and Balaji.A who acted as buddies to IBM. They only know what all they had to go through! It was by large, the toughest company to handle..Almost nothing was in place to begin with when this company landed at Green Meadows. They ended up making the maximum offers! Kudos to you both!
Vinodh Jeyraj- Ramco Systems -All those people who are placed in Ramco, you definitely owe big thanks to this guy! Btw, he also handled Godrej/CSC…tremendous effort, Vinu!! Thanks a ton!
Akash, Tejas – Wipro – the less said the better about the confusion these guys had to deal with…upon that the efforts they put in to “send people in”- u know what I mean :-)
Simplicity Personified - The following buddies came in, worked and just left as though it was their duty towards other students...when they are one among the students! Its amazing how some of them carried out the roles with little help from the committee...A real-time display of team spirit! Kudos to all you guys!
- Kamal/Sathya – Infosys
- Hardeep/Tejas – HCL
- Sandeep Khanna- CTS
- Anil/Divya Arora – Langham Capital
- Parag Kulkarni- MindTree ( they were very impressed with him:-))
- Preethy, Srinidhi, Srivathsan Sridharan, Indra – Photon Infotech
- Sathya Sainath Reddy - HSBC - A true professional! I can't say more...
- Mahesh/Sandeep/Tommy - TCS
- Balaji.M/Srivathsan - TVS Electronics
- Satyam - Pramod/Tamoghna(apna Tommy) -All those people who are placed in Satyam, you definitely owe a big thanks to these guys!
I must say a few lines that I love the most....
"Make no display of your talents or attainments; for every one will clearly see, admire, and acknowledge them, so long as you cover them with the beautiful veil of modesty"The sad part is most people among the batch probably don’t even realize what it takes to have been a buddy on that day and have slogged it out for others sake! Nevertheless, what these guys did only defines their strength of character! You guys were a boon to placement committee on these days. Thank You!
A perfect person to work with - Mathangi Ashok -she slogged with me day in and day out on those 3 days even while she had her own interviews to worry about. What amazes me most is- she never ever craves for even a thankyou at the end of all her hard work...what matters to her is only to get the work done and then she vanishes before even u realize what she has done and want to thank her.
A selfless character - Praveen Pantula- the amount of work this guy has put for our placements is simply unmatched. Period. Especially when he was not even looking for placements!
A really strong character - Vishal Prasad - this guy did all the running around for 3 complete days...at the end when he did not get anything that he was looking for...he did not even blink a eye...something which very few can actually take in his/her own stride...amazingly strong character!
Placement Director's favorites - Manik/Sitashwa/Souparno - Every day, these guys will religiously go and meet him and sit on his head till they get status on every company. Without these guys' behind-the-scene efforts, those 3 days would have been a nightmare. Believe me when I say that.Period
Admin's favorite - Prasad/Kotler/Amit -These guys gave it all to ensure smooth functioning of activities on those 3 days ...from cabs to be arranged for recruiters to buses for students, food at the right time for all, they really made it a memorable experience for all! Thanks, guys! The arragements truly reflected your experience of handling things.
Guys -Not to forget Jagannath, who provided such a support in his unique style by adding humor to the entire process, every now and then! Thanks, Uncle:-)
A big thanks to all those who did not feature here but definitely contributed by just being with your friends and motivating them on those 3 days.."Actions speak louder than words" and you guys really proved it..some names come to my mind and some don't, at the risk of forgetting to mention them and hurting them, I chose not to name those I remember.
Each one of you will remain special to me in your own way.....thanks for being what you are!
Well, friends- as with every good thing there are some bad memories too…like some of the self-centered characters that I witnessed, the "I care a damn about who gets placed unless I have an offer" kind of people, 'why should I offer to work, someone else will take care of it' kind of characters...we saw them all...the less said about them the better. God help such people in their corporate life with this kind of an attitude!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
International Womens Day 2007!
I vaguely remember the first time I heard about existence of such a day..it was 4 years ago, probably. I still cannot figure out the reason behind having a single day dedicated to celebrate something like womanhood, same with a day dedicated to express your love-valentine's day...such psuedo celebrations really beats me. Nyways, after hearing all the hype that is being created around regarding this day, I decided to dedicate a piece to one woman I admire the most, other than my mom, of course!
Sudha Murthy. This name needs no introduction. Also the story of how she wrote to Telco on an open post card, only to be called for an interview, her meeting with Narayana Murthy through a common friend, their getting married eventually is also know to most people. When Narayana Murthy started Infosys, Sudha Murthy was a receptionist-cum-clerk-cum- programmer, and had to look into organising everything, a venture that was started with Rs.10,000 given by her to her husband.When she was asked to join the board of Infosys by Nandan Nilakeni..her husband did not approve of it... it would be either one of them on the board. The lady too the tough decision, though it was very difficult for her to accept the same at that point in time.
Now, this is where the crux of the matter is...this lady sacrificed something which many girls of this age would die for, but the beauty is despite all this, she goes on to make a name for herself through her writing & philanthrophy.Her sucesss lies in being a good mother, a good wife, and most importantly,being a good human being. One does not to be the smartest engineer or a smart corporate manager to be branded as successful woman! It takes a lot to have sacrificed all that you aspired for in career, but just move on and create a space and stature for yourself! Hats off to this woman!
Her idea of woman’s empowerment as she says, “is old-fashioned. I believe that it is the woman who should make more career sacrifices for the sake of keeping family values intact. She has to work harder than a man to keep the balance between work and home. But it is always worth that extra effort,’’ she says and adds with a smile: ‘‘The children end up being closer to their mother.’’
Great words from a woman who could have been an engineer/manager/entrepreneur/ceo ....what not? But she chose to be a woman and only that! no wonder, every guy searches for qualities of his own mother in his girlfriend/wife...
M'am, here's an heartfelt thanks for being an inspiration to so many, by just being yourself!
Final words:
Dedicating one particular day, organizing lavish functions and inviting speakers to come and give gyan does not make any sense to me to celebrate this day, especially when the listeners invited to such functions are the last people who will need this gyan. An ideal thing could be to probably empower the powerless by helping them in whatever way we can...as our Philosophy guru says..there is no replacement to "Karma Yoga"...few ways of doing karma yoga to those who have to start from scratch - be polite to your maid,she is after all another woman trying to making a living by washing your dirty pots and clothes,pass a smile at the sabziwaali/phoolwaali..ask her how her kids are..the joy on her face is something that you cannot probably replace by giving a 100 rupee note..
All you women out there, please do some good karma of making some powerless woman's life better than what it is... now, that is what I would call a reason to celebrate everyday as a happy womens day!
I vaguely remember the first time I heard about existence of such a day..it was 4 years ago, probably. I still cannot figure out the reason behind having a single day dedicated to celebrate something like womanhood, same with a day dedicated to express your love-valentine's day...such psuedo celebrations really beats me. Nyways, after hearing all the hype that is being created around regarding this day, I decided to dedicate a piece to one woman I admire the most, other than my mom, of course!
Sudha Murthy. This name needs no introduction. Also the story of how she wrote to Telco on an open post card, only to be called for an interview, her meeting with Narayana Murthy through a common friend, their getting married eventually is also know to most people. When Narayana Murthy started Infosys, Sudha Murthy was a receptionist-cum-clerk-cum- programmer, and had to look into organising everything, a venture that was started with Rs.10,000 given by her to her husband.When she was asked to join the board of Infosys by Nandan Nilakeni..her husband did not approve of it... it would be either one of them on the board. The lady too the tough decision, though it was very difficult for her to accept the same at that point in time.
Now, this is where the crux of the matter is...this lady sacrificed something which many girls of this age would die for, but the beauty is despite all this, she goes on to make a name for herself through her writing & philanthrophy.Her sucesss lies in being a good mother, a good wife, and most importantly,being a good human being. One does not to be the smartest engineer or a smart corporate manager to be branded as successful woman! It takes a lot to have sacrificed all that you aspired for in career, but just move on and create a space and stature for yourself! Hats off to this woman!
Her idea of woman’s empowerment as she says, “is old-fashioned. I believe that it is the woman who should make more career sacrifices for the sake of keeping family values intact. She has to work harder than a man to keep the balance between work and home. But it is always worth that extra effort,’’ she says and adds with a smile: ‘‘The children end up being closer to their mother.’’
Great words from a woman who could have been an engineer/manager/entrepreneur/ceo ....what not? But she chose to be a woman and only that! no wonder, every guy searches for qualities of his own mother in his girlfriend/wife...
M'am, here's an heartfelt thanks for being an inspiration to so many, by just being yourself!
Final words:
Dedicating one particular day, organizing lavish functions and inviting speakers to come and give gyan does not make any sense to me to celebrate this day, especially when the listeners invited to such functions are the last people who will need this gyan. An ideal thing could be to probably empower the powerless by helping them in whatever way we can...as our Philosophy guru says..there is no replacement to "Karma Yoga"...few ways of doing karma yoga to those who have to start from scratch - be polite to your maid,she is after all another woman trying to making a living by washing your dirty pots and clothes,pass a smile at the sabziwaali/phoolwaali..ask her how her kids are..the joy on her face is something that you cannot probably replace by giving a 100 rupee note..
All you women out there, please do some good karma of making some powerless woman's life better than what it is... now, that is what I would call a reason to celebrate everyday as a happy womens day!
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
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Trip to Kodai Kanal (26th of March to 28th of March)
Feb 26th –
8.00 pm- Abhi’s dad picked us up & dropped us at Egmore Station
9.30 pm- We board Pandian Express
10.00 pm – Hunger strikes! Thanks to Abhi and Balaji, they offered to bring dinner for us. Idli with tomato chutney, & curd rice. Eternal bliss to all of us, except Dada, who is unable to figure out the pleasure we south Indians derive out of eating curd rice.Mathangi resists the temptation as she had had her dinner at home, at last, she gives up and goes for a second roundJ
Feb 27th
3.00 am – Mathangi & Balaji are olarufying as they don feel sleepy! Dada is keeping an eye on everyone by lying down in Padmanabha swamy styleJ
5.00 am – We reach Kodai Road station from where we took a cab to Kodai Hill, which is an hour and half long journey. Actually, we hit straight to Mathangi’s estate, which is like 30 mins drive from Kodai Hills. The journey was simply mind boggling as our car zigzagged through the curvy hills. As we started climbing up, the chillness only increased and all our tiredness seemed to vanish due to the encapsulating beauty around.
7.30 am-Mathangi’s Estate – Till the time we reached the estate, we were all discussing of resting for a while, probably take a quick nap before we started towards Kodai. However, as we landed in this beautiful estate in the middle of the hills, we all were so captivated by the beauty of nature around us that all our tiredness of the journey just vanished. Nature at its best! That is what it was! No internet, no traffic noises, no pollutions, no programs on television (though they had done), the only noise was that of birds chirping, various noises from insects and cool breeze blowing across our face.
10.15 am- Break fast – Hot Idli with chutney and sambar
10.30 am- Trekking! – We trekked downhill and return inside the estate. A really short trek, but felt good doing it after years!
11.00 am – On our way to Kodai. We hit straight to the lake to do boating, guess what? We took a rowing boat with no clue whatsoever as to how to row. I totally freaked at the thought as I do not know swimming. Kamal took the task of rowing, after a short period of trial and error; he started navigating the boat towards the other end of the lake. He mastered the art so quickly that we rechristened him Capt.KamalJ. Guys, everyone time the weight shifted from one end to another, thanks to Dada who could not stay stable for long, my heart skipped a beat. It’s a different thing that all the others – Kamal, Indranil, Mathangi and Krishna promised to save me if the boat tossed upside down…grrrrrrrrrrh!
12.45 pm- Cycling – All my friends decided to go cycling, except me and Balaji. We decide to walk along the lake till our friends return. Felt nice to have a long chat with mama, caught up on a lot of
things!
3.00 pm – Lunch time – We grabbed a quick lunch at Hotel Hilton before we started our return journey to the estate. South Indian cannot cook good north indian food and vice versa. Period. Halted at food world to pick up some stuff…oh man, you should have seen the variety of home-made chocolates displayed here.
4.00 pm – Most of the gang are fast asleep, except Mats, me & Kamal. We decide to play badminton. It was after 8 long years that I held a racket in my hand and I was playing against a State-level champion (Mathangi). She made me realized how long it was since I had played the sport. But it was good fun. Balaji joined us after sometime and before we knew all of us played the game for 3 hrs at a stretch. It’s time to freshen-up and settle down around the campfire.
7.30 pm- Campfire – I, Mats and Dada had decided on having a small drink (just to ensure that we don’t catch cold, guys, believe usJ). Dada went for red wine & we both settled for Vodka (this is why we stopped on our way back home from KodaiJ). Bonfire, drink in our hand, friends around me, music to soothe the ears and the setup is in a estate house located amidst the hills with chillness biting into our skin – do I need to say more?
9.10 pm– Feeling a little high, I start off on a 4 course dinner!
10.30 pm- Time to hit the bed. Before I know I’m fast asleep.
28th of Feb
6.30 am – Woke up to a beautiful view of sunrise from our room. Could not think of anything but grabbed the camera and ventured into the estate to do some photography. I managed to get some great pics. After one hour for strolling in the estate I walk towards the kitchen to have some chai, and what do I see? 5people, vaguely resembling my friends, are involved in some serious discussion with paper strewn all over the dining table. What’s the occasion? IB exam that was due next day. I tried in vain to disturb them so they would wrap up and we could chit-chat L hard luck! So, I decided to go back to my photography.
9.30 am – Breakfast – This time its dosa and upma with pudhina chutney
11.00 am – Boating at Kodai Lake, yes, again! This time around it’s the peddle boat J
12.00 noon – Cycling – This time me & Balaji joined the group, we took a tandem cycle J(Why??Coz I donno cyclingL) It was an amazing ride (probably not for Balaji, as he was the one peddling and I was the pillion rider). After a while Kamal and Mathangi took turns with me on the tandem cycle. Guess what, Kamal managed to race on this cycle, leaving all other single riders behind…yippee! 3 cheers to cycling champion Kamal.
1.30 pm – Coakers walk (also called the suicide point) - A British guy roamed around in the hills and discovered this spot, hence the name. Truly a breathtaking view from the hilltop. One wrong step and it’s the end all of a person.
2.15 pm – Lunch at a Punjabi restaurant. South Indian cannot cook good north indian food and vice versa. Period.
2.45 pm – A bit of shopping, spices and fruits!
3.30 pm – On our way back to the estate, with a heavy heart that all good things have to come to an end
4.30 pm – Sat in the garden to enjoy the peace around for a while, pondering how much activity has transpired in less than 32 hrs…time to pack up!
6.30 pm – On our way to Kodai station – The topic of discussion varies from communism in Kolkata to history of politics in TN. How important is to love the company for one to love the job?? A heated debate continues….
8.15 pm – Kodai Road Station
8.45 pm – We start walking towards our platform, Mathangi is walking behind me. I just put my luggage on the platform and look around, only to find her shouting in pain. She has fallen and twisted her leg. We rush to her and help her get up and sit on the chair. Her leg is swollen beyond imagination L Kamal & Krishna managed to get some pain relievers and ointment. We kept ice pack on the swelling and it seemed to be subsiding. We have a train to catch in next 8-10 mins, she has to walk to the platform…she is not even able to put her feet down. Best part, train stops precisely for 2 mins at Kodai Road junction…what do we do? Take her to Madurai for treatment, she is in deep pain giving us a fear that it could be a fracture…Thankfully, swelling started coming down and we decided to continue our journey. Called for a wheel chair, shifted her to the platform… now the big question, will we be able to shift her inside the train, and all of us (6) manage to get in with our entire luggage. A real-time operations scenario- Kamal & Balaji decides to help her get on to the train. 4 of us decide to take the entire luggage and hop on to the train from the other entrance. Train approaches and the action began. We just manage to hop-on with all the luggage and train starts moving…right on time! It was a truly learning experience.
1st of March
5.30 am – Egmore Station – Helped Mathangi hop-on to her car and the rest of us took a cab back home.
Feb 26th –
8.00 pm- Abhi’s dad picked us up & dropped us at Egmore Station
9.30 pm- We board Pandian Express
10.00 pm – Hunger strikes! Thanks to Abhi and Balaji, they offered to bring dinner for us. Idli with tomato chutney, & curd rice. Eternal bliss to all of us, except Dada, who is unable to figure out the pleasure we south Indians derive out of eating curd rice.Mathangi resists the temptation as she had had her dinner at home, at last, she gives up and goes for a second roundJ
Feb 27th
3.00 am – Mathangi & Balaji are olarufying as they don feel sleepy! Dada is keeping an eye on everyone by lying down in Padmanabha swamy styleJ
5.00 am – We reach Kodai Road station from where we took a cab to Kodai Hill, which is an hour and half long journey. Actually, we hit straight to Mathangi’s estate, which is like 30 mins drive from Kodai Hills. The journey was simply mind boggling as our car zigzagged through the curvy hills. As we started climbing up, the chillness only increased and all our tiredness seemed to vanish due to the encapsulating beauty around.
7.30 am-Mathangi’s Estate – Till the time we reached the estate, we were all discussing of resting for a while, probably take a quick nap before we started towards Kodai. However, as we landed in this beautiful estate in the middle of the hills, we all were so captivated by the beauty of nature around us that all our tiredness of the journey just vanished. Nature at its best! That is what it was! No internet, no traffic noises, no pollutions, no programs on television (though they had done), the only noise was that of birds chirping, various noises from insects and cool breeze blowing across our face.
10.15 am- Break fast – Hot Idli with chutney and sambar
10.30 am- Trekking! – We trekked downhill and return inside the estate. A really short trek, but felt good doing it after years!
11.00 am – On our way to Kodai. We hit straight to the lake to do boating, guess what? We took a rowing boat with no clue whatsoever as to how to row. I totally freaked at the thought as I do not know swimming. Kamal took the task of rowing, after a short period of trial and error; he started navigating the boat towards the other end of the lake. He mastered the art so quickly that we rechristened him Capt.KamalJ. Guys, everyone time the weight shifted from one end to another, thanks to Dada who could not stay stable for long, my heart skipped a beat. It’s a different thing that all the others – Kamal, Indranil, Mathangi and Krishna promised to save me if the boat tossed upside down…grrrrrrrrrrh!
12.45 pm- Cycling – All my friends decided to go cycling, except me and Balaji. We decide to walk along the lake till our friends return. Felt nice to have a long chat with mama, caught up on a lot of
things!
3.00 pm – Lunch time – We grabbed a quick lunch at Hotel Hilton before we started our return journey to the estate. South Indian cannot cook good north indian food and vice versa. Period. Halted at food world to pick up some stuff…oh man, you should have seen the variety of home-made chocolates displayed here.
4.00 pm – Most of the gang are fast asleep, except Mats, me & Kamal. We decide to play badminton. It was after 8 long years that I held a racket in my hand and I was playing against a State-level champion (Mathangi). She made me realized how long it was since I had played the sport. But it was good fun. Balaji joined us after sometime and before we knew all of us played the game for 3 hrs at a stretch. It’s time to freshen-up and settle down around the campfire.
7.30 pm- Campfire – I, Mats and Dada had decided on having a small drink (just to ensure that we don’t catch cold, guys, believe usJ). Dada went for red wine & we both settled for Vodka (this is why we stopped on our way back home from KodaiJ). Bonfire, drink in our hand, friends around me, music to soothe the ears and the setup is in a estate house located amidst the hills with chillness biting into our skin – do I need to say more?
9.10 pm– Feeling a little high, I start off on a 4 course dinner!
10.30 pm- Time to hit the bed. Before I know I’m fast asleep.
28th of Feb
6.30 am – Woke up to a beautiful view of sunrise from our room. Could not think of anything but grabbed the camera and ventured into the estate to do some photography. I managed to get some great pics. After one hour for strolling in the estate I walk towards the kitchen to have some chai, and what do I see? 5people, vaguely resembling my friends, are involved in some serious discussion with paper strewn all over the dining table. What’s the occasion? IB exam that was due next day. I tried in vain to disturb them so they would wrap up and we could chit-chat L hard luck! So, I decided to go back to my photography.
9.30 am – Breakfast – This time its dosa and upma with pudhina chutney
11.00 am – Boating at Kodai Lake, yes, again! This time around it’s the peddle boat J
12.00 noon – Cycling – This time me & Balaji joined the group, we took a tandem cycle J(Why??Coz I donno cyclingL) It was an amazing ride (probably not for Balaji, as he was the one peddling and I was the pillion rider). After a while Kamal and Mathangi took turns with me on the tandem cycle. Guess what, Kamal managed to race on this cycle, leaving all other single riders behind…yippee! 3 cheers to cycling champion Kamal.
1.30 pm – Coakers walk (also called the suicide point) - A British guy roamed around in the hills and discovered this spot, hence the name. Truly a breathtaking view from the hilltop. One wrong step and it’s the end all of a person.
2.15 pm – Lunch at a Punjabi restaurant. South Indian cannot cook good north indian food and vice versa. Period.
2.45 pm – A bit of shopping, spices and fruits!
3.30 pm – On our way back to the estate, with a heavy heart that all good things have to come to an end
4.30 pm – Sat in the garden to enjoy the peace around for a while, pondering how much activity has transpired in less than 32 hrs…time to pack up!
6.30 pm – On our way to Kodai station – The topic of discussion varies from communism in Kolkata to history of politics in TN. How important is to love the company for one to love the job?? A heated debate continues….
8.15 pm – Kodai Road Station
8.45 pm – We start walking towards our platform, Mathangi is walking behind me. I just put my luggage on the platform and look around, only to find her shouting in pain. She has fallen and twisted her leg. We rush to her and help her get up and sit on the chair. Her leg is swollen beyond imagination L Kamal & Krishna managed to get some pain relievers and ointment. We kept ice pack on the swelling and it seemed to be subsiding. We have a train to catch in next 8-10 mins, she has to walk to the platform…she is not even able to put her feet down. Best part, train stops precisely for 2 mins at Kodai Road junction…what do we do? Take her to Madurai for treatment, she is in deep pain giving us a fear that it could be a fracture…Thankfully, swelling started coming down and we decided to continue our journey. Called for a wheel chair, shifted her to the platform… now the big question, will we be able to shift her inside the train, and all of us (6) manage to get in with our entire luggage. A real-time operations scenario- Kamal & Balaji decides to help her get on to the train. 4 of us decide to take the entire luggage and hop on to the train from the other entrance. Train approaches and the action began. We just manage to hop-on with all the luggage and train starts moving…right on time! It was a truly learning experience.
1st of March
5.30 am – Egmore Station – Helped Mathangi hop-on to her car and the rest of us took a cab back home.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Deepavali - 'the awareness of inner light'
Diwali at home!
It’s strange how things change in life. So near, yet so far...It's in March 2002 that I moved to Chennai when I took up a job with a business partner of Tata Telecom. One year passed by, and I shifted to Frost & Sullivan. Three and half years have rolled by, and I'm here at Great Lakes, since 6 months to pursue my MBA. Life at F&S was a roller-coaster ride, fast paced, highly consuming and quite a lot of long-distance traveling. Only this Diwali, when I came to Bangalore did I realize how fast paced my life has been for the past 4 years. It’s been more than 4 years since I spent more than a week's time with my parents at a stretch. Thanks to my Internship at F&S, this gave me the flexibility of working from home. Not that it was easy call choosing between an offer from one of the world's biggest consulting firms (Mumbai based) and F&S offer. However, my determination to spend time with my parents and darling sis made my decision making easier. I am glad I made this decision. Period.
Diwali has always been a festival close to my heart. I just love the sight of Diyas arranged in all possible geometrical shapes, the umpteen number of colorful flowers my grandma does not stop buying throughout the 3 long days of festival, and most importantly the long list of sweets that are prepared at home and received from friends on Diwali. I love the children jumping with joy and screaming around, just adding to the noise of the bustling crackers. Every year my parents say' this year Diwali is not the same. not too many crackers, the spirit is not the same...etc...etc.
However, for me, the very sight of arrays of Diyas around me enough to sparkle the festive mood in me. Although, I too agree that not many relatives visit on Diwali as earlier. With the onset of nuclear families, Diwali for many has become a reason to splurge money and buy something new - a TV, DVD, Fridge , a car, jewellery or just new clothes. It’s more of a self-centered reason to be extravagant in spending on self than considering it as a reason for friends and relatives to get tog tether and a good time.
Mythology says Deepavali - the actual Sanskrit word, marked the celebrations in Ayodhya when Ram & sita returned back home after Lord Ram's victory over Ravan. It is also said that this is the day Lord Shiva accepted Goddess Shakti as his better half and became - Ardhanarishwar.
Esoteric Significance
Flowers are an integral part of Diwali as are many decorations. While Deepavali is popularly known as the "festival of lights", the most significant esoteric meaning is "the awareness of the inner light".
Central to Hindu philosophy, is the assertion that there is something beyond the physical body and mind which is pure, infinite, and eternal, called the Atman. Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Deepavali is the celebration of this Inner Light, in particular the knowing of which outshines all darkness (removes all obstacles and dispels all ignorance), awakening the individual to ones true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With the realization of the Atman, comes universal compassion, love, and the awareness of the oneness of all things (higher knowledge). This brings Ananda (Inner Joy or Peace).
Diwali to me...
I guess, for me the esoteric significance is what matters the most. My belief in family values, the togetherness and the idea of just being with my family has been reinforced in me. I love having them around, though we might not spend too much time together, per se. I am glad I decided to do my internship at Bangalore. It’s been just 6 days since I came here, and I already love it soooooo much. These 20 days that I'm gonna be here is definitely gonna be the best days of my life! Life is rocking! Hope it does in the future also.
It’s strange how things change in life. So near, yet so far...It's in March 2002 that I moved to Chennai when I took up a job with a business partner of Tata Telecom. One year passed by, and I shifted to Frost & Sullivan. Three and half years have rolled by, and I'm here at Great Lakes, since 6 months to pursue my MBA. Life at F&S was a roller-coaster ride, fast paced, highly consuming and quite a lot of long-distance traveling. Only this Diwali, when I came to Bangalore did I realize how fast paced my life has been for the past 4 years. It’s been more than 4 years since I spent more than a week's time with my parents at a stretch. Thanks to my Internship at F&S, this gave me the flexibility of working from home. Not that it was easy call choosing between an offer from one of the world's biggest consulting firms (Mumbai based) and F&S offer. However, my determination to spend time with my parents and darling sis made my decision making easier. I am glad I made this decision. Period.
Diwali has always been a festival close to my heart. I just love the sight of Diyas arranged in all possible geometrical shapes, the umpteen number of colorful flowers my grandma does not stop buying throughout the 3 long days of festival, and most importantly the long list of sweets that are prepared at home and received from friends on Diwali. I love the children jumping with joy and screaming around, just adding to the noise of the bustling crackers. Every year my parents say' this year Diwali is not the same. not too many crackers, the spirit is not the same...etc...etc.
However, for me, the very sight of arrays of Diyas around me enough to sparkle the festive mood in me. Although, I too agree that not many relatives visit on Diwali as earlier. With the onset of nuclear families, Diwali for many has become a reason to splurge money and buy something new - a TV, DVD, Fridge , a car, jewellery or just new clothes. It’s more of a self-centered reason to be extravagant in spending on self than considering it as a reason for friends and relatives to get tog tether and a good time.
Mythology says Deepavali - the actual Sanskrit word, marked the celebrations in Ayodhya when Ram & sita returned back home after Lord Ram's victory over Ravan. It is also said that this is the day Lord Shiva accepted Goddess Shakti as his better half and became - Ardhanarishwar.
Esoteric Significance
Flowers are an integral part of Diwali as are many decorations. While Deepavali is popularly known as the "festival of lights", the most significant esoteric meaning is "the awareness of the inner light".
Central to Hindu philosophy, is the assertion that there is something beyond the physical body and mind which is pure, infinite, and eternal, called the Atman. Just as we celebrate the birth of our physical being, Deepavali is the celebration of this Inner Light, in particular the knowing of which outshines all darkness (removes all obstacles and dispels all ignorance), awakening the individual to ones true nature, not as the body, but as the unchanging, infinite, immanent and transcendent reality. With the realization of the Atman, comes universal compassion, love, and the awareness of the oneness of all things (higher knowledge). This brings Ananda (Inner Joy or Peace).
Diwali to me...
I guess, for me the esoteric significance is what matters the most. My belief in family values, the togetherness and the idea of just being with my family has been reinforced in me. I love having them around, though we might not spend too much time together, per se. I am glad I decided to do my internship at Bangalore. It’s been just 6 days since I came here, and I already love it soooooo much. These 20 days that I'm gonna be here is definitely gonna be the best days of my life! Life is rocking! Hope it does in the future also.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Half glass full or half glass empty…
I’m half done with my MBA at Great Lakes. Can’t believe it! Time has just flown by and so much has changed since then. We have finished 20 subjects and 20 more to go in the electives phase. Its time for our one month internship and most of my friends has left to their home towns, to pursue the same. It seems like life has come to a stand still. Except for me, and Manan, everyone else is gone. The cyber stream where we hang around all the time, if not in the classes attending lectures, seems so empty. The silence is killing and the void is unimaginable. It’s so strange, although all of us hang around in the same room for hours together; we are busy with our laptops doing our own things. But still, we feel the void even if one person is missing.
I hate to go to Cyber stream without my friends around. I miss Nitin sitting in the corner blogging endlessly on cool avenues or pagalguy.com, I miss Parag speaking on Dhirubhai Ambani’s phone and saying –“Roopaps, chai peene chal rahin hain kya?, I miss Sitashwa trying to bring down the height of my chair, I miss Ashwin asking me to suggest a song to play, I miss Manik fighting with me, calling me aunt Polly J…I miss them all for more than this, for just being there in my life…
Well, I’ll be gone to Blore in a couple of days…but these few days that I spent here without my friends around have really made me realize, how much I cherish these guys company at college!
I hate to go to Cyber stream without my friends around. I miss Nitin sitting in the corner blogging endlessly on cool avenues or pagalguy.com, I miss Parag speaking on Dhirubhai Ambani’s phone and saying –“Roopaps, chai peene chal rahin hain kya?, I miss Sitashwa trying to bring down the height of my chair, I miss Ashwin asking me to suggest a song to play, I miss Manik fighting with me, calling me aunt Polly J…I miss them all for more than this, for just being there in my life…
Well, I’ll be gone to Blore in a couple of days…but these few days that I spent here without my friends around have really made me realize, how much I cherish these guys company at college!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Fish!
Fish!
I happened to read this book – Fish! By Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, and John Christensen. The title read – A remarkable way to boost Moral and Improve Results. Although, initially it seemed like one of those zillions of self-help books written, this book impressed me a lot in some ways. Firstly, it’s a small book with some 100 plus pages, and the language used is very simple. The most striking thing about it is the example the authors’ use –the world famous Pike Place Fish market, to teach us lessons to improve our performance at work.
The story is about a middle-aged lady manager – Mary Jane, who is made in charge of a non-performing unit in her company. While the company has great hopes for her, she is unwilling to take this risk. Having lost her husband recently, Mary Jane is put in a spot and her position seems challenged due to this assignment. She has only two choices, to stay, work her way around this problem or just give up and look for another job. That’s when she happens to visit this fish market, where she learns the most important lessons of her life. The book speaks of four important things to learn from this fish market to be replicated at Mary Jane’s business unit:
Choose Your Attitude,
Play,
Be Present
Make Their Day!
Mary Jane’s team comes out as a winner by implementing these lessons from the fish market, and Mary Jane goes on to win the Chairwoman’s Award. That day, Mary Jane open’s her journal to read one of her favorite selections – a piece written by John Gardner on the meaning of life. This is how it reads:
“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”
These lines appealed a lot to me and I hope it does to all those who read it.
I happened to read this book – Fish! By Stephen C. Lundin, Harry Paul, and John Christensen. The title read – A remarkable way to boost Moral and Improve Results. Although, initially it seemed like one of those zillions of self-help books written, this book impressed me a lot in some ways. Firstly, it’s a small book with some 100 plus pages, and the language used is very simple. The most striking thing about it is the example the authors’ use –the world famous Pike Place Fish market, to teach us lessons to improve our performance at work.
The story is about a middle-aged lady manager – Mary Jane, who is made in charge of a non-performing unit in her company. While the company has great hopes for her, she is unwilling to take this risk. Having lost her husband recently, Mary Jane is put in a spot and her position seems challenged due to this assignment. She has only two choices, to stay, work her way around this problem or just give up and look for another job. That’s when she happens to visit this fish market, where she learns the most important lessons of her life. The book speaks of four important things to learn from this fish market to be replicated at Mary Jane’s business unit:
Choose Your Attitude,
Play,
Be Present
Make Their Day!
Mary Jane’s team comes out as a winner by implementing these lessons from the fish market, and Mary Jane goes on to win the Chairwoman’s Award. That day, Mary Jane open’s her journal to read one of her favorite selections – a piece written by John Gardner on the meaning of life. This is how it reads:
“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”
These lines appealed a lot to me and I hope it does to all those who read it.
Attitude!
After 2 months of demanding schedule at my MBA course, we finally got a long weekend and I decided to visit my parents at Bangalore. I had two other classmates of mine traveling with me and it was quite an interesting journey. We boarded the Lalbagh express that leaves at 3.45 pm from Chennai. I and my friend settled down in our seats and were joined by 2 couples for this journey, one old and one of them in their middle age. They were pretty much busy in their conversations, so were me and my friend all through the journey.
Train journeys are generally pretty interesting to me as they provide me an opportunity to pursue my favorite hobby (mind reading!). Yes, I do the same when I travel by bus too. The younger couple among the two sitting close to us, from their conversations, seemed to be either employed in Sri Lanka or Dubai and were probably visiting their folks back in India. Their conversations were pretty much limited to arrival and departure timings of various flights bound to these countries, or regarding the wireless services rates prevailing in India.
The older couple were quite most of the time. I and my friend were speaking about the various vendors who keep moving across the train throughout the journey and the various strategies they use to sell their products. A bookseller walked up to us and handed over a bunch of books to us and did not return for almost 10 min. My friend had no choice but keep them in his hands (as there is hardly any space left with 3 people sitting on each berth). Meanwhile, we glanced through the books, when it stuck us that this could be their strategy to sell as anybody doing so would get interested in at least one of the books.
Midway through our journey, a handicapped person (he had lost his both legs) came pushing himself on the floor, with a cleaning brush in his hands. The floor of the coach was as usual dirty with ground nut shells and mud scattered all over the place. Among all the people seated their, the old uncle spoke for the first time and asked this guy to cleanup the place, after which he paid him some money and sent him away. This gesture of the old man caught my attention and got me thinking on the civic sense left with the people of today. This old man simply blew me off with this gesture, and I learnt a lesson – to be thoughtful of helping the community in some way, whether big or small. What need did this man have to get the place cleaned when he was not even the one who had dirtied it, but I’m sure he had a sense of duty towards his surroundings which provoked him to initiate this gesture.
Train journeys are generally pretty interesting to me as they provide me an opportunity to pursue my favorite hobby (mind reading!). Yes, I do the same when I travel by bus too. The younger couple among the two sitting close to us, from their conversations, seemed to be either employed in Sri Lanka or Dubai and were probably visiting their folks back in India. Their conversations were pretty much limited to arrival and departure timings of various flights bound to these countries, or regarding the wireless services rates prevailing in India.
The older couple were quite most of the time. I and my friend were speaking about the various vendors who keep moving across the train throughout the journey and the various strategies they use to sell their products. A bookseller walked up to us and handed over a bunch of books to us and did not return for almost 10 min. My friend had no choice but keep them in his hands (as there is hardly any space left with 3 people sitting on each berth). Meanwhile, we glanced through the books, when it stuck us that this could be their strategy to sell as anybody doing so would get interested in at least one of the books.
Midway through our journey, a handicapped person (he had lost his both legs) came pushing himself on the floor, with a cleaning brush in his hands. The floor of the coach was as usual dirty with ground nut shells and mud scattered all over the place. Among all the people seated their, the old uncle spoke for the first time and asked this guy to cleanup the place, after which he paid him some money and sent him away. This gesture of the old man caught my attention and got me thinking on the civic sense left with the people of today. This old man simply blew me off with this gesture, and I learnt a lesson – to be thoughtful of helping the community in some way, whether big or small. What need did this man have to get the place cleaned when he was not even the one who had dirtied it, but I’m sure he had a sense of duty towards his surroundings which provoked him to initiate this gesture.
The Joy of Small Things
The Joy of Small Things...
I love traveling by the public transport, especially by bus. I used to travel for a little more than an hour everyday, on my way to college and back, while I was doing my engineering at Bangalore Institute of Technology. Now, all the thinking I used to do while traveling in the bus daily is something that would probably provide me enough content to write as a regular for months together. So, let me cut it short and come back to one specific incident that I encountered recently while traveling by bus. However, this time around it was in Chennai while I was on my way to office in the morning.
The best thing I like about traveling by the bus is the little time I get for myself to catch up with some reading, most of the times; it is something that I read to keep myself abreast with the current affairs. If I am not in a mood to read any printed medium, then I just decide to do mind reading. Yes, mind reading! I love to look at people, think, and analyze what might be going on in their minds. It is quite an interesting hobby, which I have pursued for more than 10 years now. Now, I have to mention that, luckily, I always end up taking the bus from its starting point, be it when I was at Bangalore or now in Chennai.
The other day, as per my usual routine, I got into a 23C at Besant Nagar Depot and found myself a comfortable window seat in the first row. I always prefer the first seat, because it has a fixed glass window and hence avoids the dust from blowing over my face. I must admit, I have a fetish for cleanliness. As the bus started on its journey towards Mount Road, my mind was deeply occupied in thinking about the book I had just finished reading - Deception Point by Dan Brown. Everyday, as my bus nears IIT Chennai, I make it a point to look out of the window, and wonder with respect, the kind of brilliant engineers this institute produces every year. Immediately after IIT Chennai is the Gandhi Mandapam stop, and as the bus neared this stop, I saw an old man waiting in anticipation for the bus in the bus stop. He was clad in a neat pair of trousers and a white shirt with a bag in his hand (it had to be one from Nalli/Saravana Stores/Kumarans/Pothys). In his case it was Saravana stores, and not to forget the trade mark vermilion on his forehead.
As the bus neared the bus stop, this old man's joy knew no bounds, and the eagerness on his face reflected the long time he had waited for this bus. However, being the typical Chennai Road Transport Corporation driver he was; the bus driver just drove at full-speed, right past the waiting passengers, only to stop a few yards beyond the bus stop. Lucky that he actually stopped, some drivers most of the time forget that there are stops in between the starting point and ending point of their bus routes).
All the while I was keenly watching this old man who was waiting for the bus, and the emotions that I managed to catch on his face in those few seconds is something I cannot explain in words. The excitement on his face seeing the bus nearing the stop changed to that of total disappointment as he thought the bus would not stop and finally, when the bus stopped, he ran towards the bus with all excitement, got into it and made himself comfortable in a seat near the driver. This transition of feelings from excitement to disappointment to absolute joy of finding a seat, all happened in a matter of couple of minutes, and the only thing that crossed my mind at that point of time was - The joy of small things!!
It is a different thing that the old man came back to normalcy after a few minutes, but this thought kept provoking me for long. How many times do we actually think about all the small incidents such as this, which actually gives us absolute happiness? Hardly any. Repeatedly, I am witness to incidents such as this, which only reinforces my belief in the school of thought that I have always believed in, which is- the most joyful things in life are the least expensive ones. How true!
I love traveling by the public transport, especially by bus. I used to travel for a little more than an hour everyday, on my way to college and back, while I was doing my engineering at Bangalore Institute of Technology. Now, all the thinking I used to do while traveling in the bus daily is something that would probably provide me enough content to write as a regular for months together. So, let me cut it short and come back to one specific incident that I encountered recently while traveling by bus. However, this time around it was in Chennai while I was on my way to office in the morning.
The best thing I like about traveling by the bus is the little time I get for myself to catch up with some reading, most of the times; it is something that I read to keep myself abreast with the current affairs. If I am not in a mood to read any printed medium, then I just decide to do mind reading. Yes, mind reading! I love to look at people, think, and analyze what might be going on in their minds. It is quite an interesting hobby, which I have pursued for more than 10 years now. Now, I have to mention that, luckily, I always end up taking the bus from its starting point, be it when I was at Bangalore or now in Chennai.
The other day, as per my usual routine, I got into a 23C at Besant Nagar Depot and found myself a comfortable window seat in the first row. I always prefer the first seat, because it has a fixed glass window and hence avoids the dust from blowing over my face. I must admit, I have a fetish for cleanliness. As the bus started on its journey towards Mount Road, my mind was deeply occupied in thinking about the book I had just finished reading - Deception Point by Dan Brown. Everyday, as my bus nears IIT Chennai, I make it a point to look out of the window, and wonder with respect, the kind of brilliant engineers this institute produces every year. Immediately after IIT Chennai is the Gandhi Mandapam stop, and as the bus neared this stop, I saw an old man waiting in anticipation for the bus in the bus stop. He was clad in a neat pair of trousers and a white shirt with a bag in his hand (it had to be one from Nalli/Saravana Stores/Kumarans/Pothys). In his case it was Saravana stores, and not to forget the trade mark vermilion on his forehead.
As the bus neared the bus stop, this old man's joy knew no bounds, and the eagerness on his face reflected the long time he had waited for this bus. However, being the typical Chennai Road Transport Corporation driver he was; the bus driver just drove at full-speed, right past the waiting passengers, only to stop a few yards beyond the bus stop. Lucky that he actually stopped, some drivers most of the time forget that there are stops in between the starting point and ending point of their bus routes).
All the while I was keenly watching this old man who was waiting for the bus, and the emotions that I managed to catch on his face in those few seconds is something I cannot explain in words. The excitement on his face seeing the bus nearing the stop changed to that of total disappointment as he thought the bus would not stop and finally, when the bus stopped, he ran towards the bus with all excitement, got into it and made himself comfortable in a seat near the driver. This transition of feelings from excitement to disappointment to absolute joy of finding a seat, all happened in a matter of couple of minutes, and the only thing that crossed my mind at that point of time was - The joy of small things!!
It is a different thing that the old man came back to normalcy after a few minutes, but this thought kept provoking me for long. How many times do we actually think about all the small incidents such as this, which actually gives us absolute happiness? Hardly any. Repeatedly, I am witness to incidents such as this, which only reinforces my belief in the school of thought that I have always believed in, which is- the most joyful things in life are the least expensive ones. How true!
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Mandolin Srinivas Vs Ustad Sultan Khan - A Musical Extravaganza!
On Nov 20th, 2005, the music lovers of Chennai got an opportunity to enjoy the musical extravaganza provided at the Music Academy, as a part of the Friday Review Festival, performed by Mandolin. U. Srinivas and Ustad Sultan Khan. What a performance it was!! Carnatic Vs Hindustani, musical creativity at its best on a western instrument such as the Mandolin by Srinivas Vs the emotional depth created by the Sultan of Sarangi.
One of the greatest Sarangi players India has ever produced, the Ustad counts among his fans names like Prince Charles( he performed on the occasion of 50th Birthday celebrations of Prince Charles), George Michael, Goldie Hawn and has recorded or performed with artists like Yehudi Menuhin, George Harrison, Pandit Ravi Shankar, Ustad Ali Akbar Khan, Zakir Hussain, Madonna, and Duran. The simple outlook of this man makes you wonder if he is the same man who along with George Harrison and Ravi Shankar was one of the three star attractions of the celebrated 1974 Dark Horse World Tour, and that he has composed and recorded music for films like Gandhi and In Custody. .
As far as Uppalapu Srinivas who got introduced to music when he received a Mandolin as his birthday gift at the age of 3 (or 5?, my memory fails me her), he went on to hold a concert at the age of 10. In his mid-thirties now, he has performed with people like John McLaughlin, Ustad Zakir Hussain, Allah Rakha Saheb, Sultan Khan Saheb, Pandit Jasraj,Michael Nyman and Michael Brook...to list a few, phew!! And, not to forget the International Jazz festival where he got invited to play along with the likes of Miles Davis, at a tender age of 13, which introduced him to the international music fraternity.
Amidst the truly mind-boggling performance by these two enigmatic musicians, something which really touched my heart was their unbelievable simplicity and the humility that was more than evident during the concert. The honesty, dedication and absolutely unassuming nature of their approach towards music by these immensely successful artists moved me to tears. The Shraddha (discipline) with which they came on stage( as if it was their first stage performance!), and their graceful way of accepting the admiration/appreciation showered on them by the audience was something to ponder about. Those gestures of his hand by the Ustad, to show his appreciation towards the performance by Mandolin King, who is a little over half the age of Ustad left me amazed by the humble nature of this man. The same applies to Mandolin Srinivas, who after every performance by the accompanying musicians on the Mridangam and Tabla, made sure to show his appreciation towards them. The genuineness of their appreciation was something I truly envied about these musicians at the receiving end. Somebody once said, "Modesty should be typical of the success of a champion." These instrumentalists, despite being the epitome of the musical instruments they are renowned for, have managed to remain modest, leaving a lot to be learned by most of us.
The concert, being a Jugalbandi required tremendous co-ordination among the musicians, and the ease with which the two teams (Carnatic - Mandolin accompanied by Mridangam Vs Hindustani - Sarangi accompanied by Tabla) handled this, created a truly mystical experience which was thoroughly enjoyed by the audience. These two renowned musicians are so successful in the world of music, nationally and internationally, that their striking simplicity made me feel so humble. It was truly a heart-warming scene when the Ustad, totally enthralled by Mandolin's performance, jokingly put down his Sarangi and asked Srinivas to continue playing, in response to which Mandolin Srinivas showed his obeisance with an evident shyness in his eyes, something that you can't miss while looking at him.
In addition to the unforgettable musical delight that I experienced,there is something much more of a cherisable reason because of which this concert will always remain close to my heart, the one of having had the opportunity to know the kind of fine human beings these performers are - they re-inforced the belief in me to remain humble.
"Make no display of your talents or attainments; for every one will clearly see, admire, and acknowledge them, so long as you cover them with the beautiful veil of modesty"
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