Transitioning from being an elder sister to a friend...it is a tough journey

I used to feel jealous of her when my mom carried her in her arms, I used to throw tantrums and create a scene if my dad spent more time with her than me...I used to shy away from my parents and spend more time with my grandparents as I just used to desist her presence, we used fight all the time - I have pushed her from the stairs and she would go rolling down, only to be back crying aloud and my mom giving me a good spanking ...lol!

Till the time, life took a turn and I realized the responsibility I had as a elder sister...mom fell ill and stayed that way for long...very very long, and I stepped in take care of my sister. From taking care of her in school, to bringing her back home, to help her finish homework, to feed her lunch & dinner, to help her at every step - be it a fancy dress competition or a painting competition or anything under this sky... I had a say in it. She would come running to me for every small thing...

Things do not remain the same, you see...One fine day, I realize during a casual conversation with my sister how much things have changed - Yes, she has grown up, she can take care of herself, make her own decisions, wants to be left to herself in whatever she does...she has become an independent individual, which all of us do at some point in time in life. I need to understand this, take this in my stride and let her fly...be there only to help if she falls...but this goddamn heart does not understand this...it just refuses to accept the fact! I feel bad if she does not tell me even a small thing that happened, either something she bought or some place she went...They say its important for parents to be a friend to their kids when they grow up, I agree, but I can see how difficult it must be...if I, as a sister am finding it so difficult.

I know its gonna be a journey, a tough one, till I realize that all of us need that space to do our own things...The journey has just begun...